Tantalizing Tidbits

Tantalizing Tidbits is LEAVING BLOGGER!

2011-08-25T13:02:00.000-07:00

Blogger has served me well for the past five plus years, but I’m done with it. Wait, what? Am I stopping Tantalizing Tidbits blog? NO!! No way! I’m merely taking it to the NEXT LEVEL! I’ve written a lot over the years, chronicled my life, what’s been going on, what I’m interested in, etc., and I was getting pretty nervous…all of this was owned by google…they could delete it whenever they liked, and I’d be left with NOTHING! Plus, it seems like most people are moving their blogs over to wordpress these days. I thought about it. A long time. Months. Longer? What if my blogs got lost in the transition? But I did it! I have a self hosted wordpress blog now! If you want to read more about that, you’ll have to go over there. Because this post is about the fact that there will be no more blogger blog. So quick, go check your feed, blogroll, bookmark, etc. If the address for Tantalizing Tidbits says blogspot in it, it’s going away. PLEASE UPDATE TO: www.tantalizingtidbits.com. Many of you may already have this, since I’ve had the domain from day one. But some people found it easier to link to this blog as blogspot. And anyone who’s following via blogger, you’ll need to update your settings too. The feed is at www.tantalizingtidbits.com. Now, that wordpress blog isn’t all ready yet, but it’s about to soft launch, because it’s taking forever and I have other things to post about. So please, STOP READING THIS IN BLOGGER! I’m gonna give you some time to make the transition before I take the blogger one away. But do it ASAP! Switch yourself! You don’t want to miss out on ANY Tidbits! If you have questions, let me know… hope to see you over there at www.tantalizingtidbits.com!!

The Baptism - I Become a Godmother

2011-08-18T11:04:00.000-07:00

Baptism Bracelet & Dress & her Mommy's Wedding Ring

I’ve mentioned (a lot) how I was asked to be my niece Lana’s godmother, and I made the long trek over to NH for the ceremony. Well, it happened. I’m now an official godmother! Yay me! The day began early…6am NH time, 3am CA time. I woke up and asked my friend how the club was going, as it was still Saturday night there and everyone was out LOL. BUT this was the ONE morning I didn’t mind waking up so early, because it had a special purpose. I’d had a really hard time finding a proper dress to wear to the ceremony, and ended up wearing a jumper I’d gotten for work, but it looked ok. At least I was a bit more organized on the baby. I’d ordered a baptism dress from Etsy that my mother and sister picked out, and had it delivered to NH ahead of time. I also got Lana a monogrammed baptism bracelet from another shop on Etsy, and brought that with me to Nh to surprise her. When my parents, brother and I arrived at my sister’s house, no one was dressed and Lana was still asleep. AAH! My brother in law and sister (Robert and Beth) got dressed in record time, and we got Lana’s dress and bracelet on her, but didn’t get many good photos, oh well. My brother doug and I headed over to the church down the street, because we were the godparents! The church itself is on the town square of the small NH town my sister lives in, and is a great example of an old New England church. The pastor found us soon after we entered. He was just a substitute, so I never met the real one. This was a little old man with not many teeth, who confessed that the last time he’d done a baptism had been when he first started years ago. Yikes! He told us to just read the responses when the time came as we stood up. Ok… Walking into the room, there weren’t many people there. This is a nice sized building, but the congregation itself is very small. There were more people there for the baptism than the actual every Sunday service. The front row was for just me, doug, beth, Robert and lana (the latter three who arrived just in time). This is kind of a bad combination, as none of us regularly attended church in childhood or adulthood. We had no one to watch for cues of what to do, and EVERYONE could see us the whole service. It began, and throughout, the four of us regularly scrambled to find songs in the books and peered over our shoulders to see when we were supposed to be sitting and standing. The most interesting part, besides the baptism itself, was communion. None of the four of us had ever done communion. There was a reading, then we all sang a song, which curiously sounded like a Disney song, the way the tune and even the lyrics were. I felt like I was in a cartoon. I was intensely interested, yet super nervous. Would they make me eat that bread? What would happen? I’ve never done communion! I’ve never had a first communion! I can’t do it NOW! The pastor got a nice round fluffy bread and cut it in four quarters. It looked like very good bread. It was on a plate on a table they brought out. Then he poured wine into some glasses. A few people, dressed very scruffily, who had been helping out by lighting and putting out candles, took the wine glasses and some flat breads, leaving the one the minister had cut on the table. People came and lined up, and dipped their bread in the wine (juice?) then ate it. Some of them came and yanked my sister and brother in law over, telling them they had to do it. I couldn’t pay much attention to them, because another one was trying to get doug and I to. You can join us if you want they said. Um, no thank you? I’ll just sit here, I said. Luckily they let me, and they let doug sit it out too. Crisis averted! And then of course, the main thing, the baptism. Half way through the service, the five of us stood up with the pastor, and he read some passages, and asked the parents if they would agree to raise the baby in the eyes of god and they had to respond yes. Then he asked myself and my brother, and we had to respond yes. Then he asked the congregation as well. This man didn’t know how to hold a baby because he had Lana squished hanging half down, with her arm twisted behind him under his arm. She had been good the whole service but crushed like this, she began to cry. A random woman held up a piece of paper which he read from, and she kept patting Lana’s leg, like that would help. He put water on her head over her cries. It was pretty funny! But at the same time I was really touched, and had a hard time not crying in front of the whole room. I was getting a giant responsibility, a baby that I have to take care of for the rest of her life. After the service, doug and I had to sign a baptism certificate, and we got handbooks. It said silly obvious things like remember to say happy birthday and you might want to send her gifts, and also that in the event the parents die or something, we have to make sure she’s cared for. Yikes. Hopefully anyway my sister will lead a long, happy life. The rest of the day was anticlimactic. Some relatives came over to my sister’s house and Robert and my uncle eric grilled. I wasn’t feeling well and spent the day lying reading in the backyard. But there we go, I’m a godmother!

Baptism Bracelet

Happy Dad Holding His Daughter's Baptism Dress

The Church

Uncle/Godfather to Be & Grandmother Entering the Church

The Two Dads - Godfather and Father

My Godmother Manual

LOL The Instructions!

For more photos of the baptism party, go here. You can only see photos of the baby if you're my flickr friends and family though, per request of her daddy.

Deja Vu

2011-08-16T14:48:00.000-07:00

The blog stalled while I was in NH, and trying to process all the photos from NH and get all the blogs I want to write fixed up and finished. I have so many started. While I’m waiting to get organized, I decided to post something I started. When I’m reading, sometimes I see passages in the books that resonate with me, and one day recently, I got the good idea to photograph them. Here is one from July, an excerpt from A Madman’s Tale by John Katzenbach. I called it déjà vu because it reminded me of something I’d say.

Deja Vu

Bananas for Dinner!

2011-08-03T11:32:00.000-07:00

Recently, I'd been thinking about how bananas would taste good in dinner. Roomie was out of state djing so i thought i'd try a new vegetarian dinner. Black-eyed Peas and Tomatoes with Sauteed Bananas! YAH! Apparently this is inspired by the traditional Ghana dish called Red-Red, which is served with plantains. This whole foods recipe comes out with a slight tang of spiciness and the tomato mixes with the cooked banana taste in a sweet hot way. I think when I make it again, I'll increase the cayenne. If you're a meat eater, it would also go well with any meat thrown in there. Clicky to see the recipe! yum!

My Clarisonic Face Scrubber

2011-08-02T10:57:00.000-07:00

For a couple of years I’d had my eye on the clarisonic face scrubber. If not that long, then almost that long. I saw it on blogs and ads from sephora. I looked at it and imagined how clean my face would be if I could only have this piece of equipment…but it was expensive. It seemed like too much to waste on something to clean my face! Then, at the end of last year, I was finally doing ok with my money, and I decided to treat myself to some birthday/xmas presents (my birthday’s at the end of November). One of them was the Clarisonic. What is this product that costs over a hundred dollars, you might ask? Well, the website explains that dirt and oil often becomes trapped in our pores, causing buildup, which doesn’t let your other skin products soak in to actually work. Pretty much you’re wasting your money on your soap, lotion, serums, toner, etc, and leaving your face dirty. This thing uses sonic frequency to clean the pores! So, that’s what they say. But does it work? When I bought it, they were doing a special breast cancer pink one promotion, which looks a bit girly in our bathroom, but oh well. It came with a face brush and a body brush, but I haven’t really used the body one, because I’m always in a rush in the shower. The device itself is like a toothbrush, and you let it charge in its cradle when you’re not using it. More than one person can have their own brush head (again like a toothbrush) and my roomie and I each have our own. You just twist it on, wet it, wet your face, put some face cleaner (whatever brand you like to use) on the brush head, and push the button. Start by moving it around on your forehead. After a few seconds it will beep (or, if you’re hard of hearing like me, give a really little pause in brushing) and you know it’s time to move to the next area, which is nose/chin/neck. Beep again and go to one cheek, beep again, go to the other cheek. Then it shuts off. You can also use it on your chest, because that area should be washed as gently as your face, though you have to go through the beep cycle again. It only takes 60 seconds to wash your face. And it works! My face is nice and smooth and clean, not rough or red or anything like that. Even when I’ve washed my makeup off, I can still see dirt and makeup on the brush before I rinse it. It’s definitely getting my pores clean! All I have to do is replace the brush every 3 months or so (I think the brush is $20 or $25) and keep cleaning. And yes, it does seem pricey, but I feel like it’s worth it to have clean skin, so that down the road, I’m not covered in wrinkles and peeling and grossness. Cleaning like this can also help keep away fine lines! And remember, it helps your other products work as well. I know there is an oil of olay product and possibly more that have sprung up now at the drugstores, at a VERY considerably less price. I’m not sure how it works…people seem to like it, and for $28 or so, it’s probably definitely worth it. They compare it to the Clarisonic, although I don’t see that they claim to use sonic frequencies. It definitely is better than just using a facecloth or your hand or something. All in all, I’m very happy with my Clarisonic, love it, and I recommend that everyone gets one, or if you don’t have the money, at least go out and get the knockoff cheaper brand one instead. Your skin will thank you! Do you have one of these face brushes? What do you think?

Will We Like Each Other?

2011-08-01T10:52:00.000-07:00

I’ve been thinking a lot about my trip to NH next week for my niece’s baptism (although with my bad track record lately about actually publishing blogs, I might already be back home again lol) and taking my role as godmother seriously. I will definitely be blogging about that experience! I was pondering how this is a responsibility to watch over my sister’s child for the rest of her life. But then I was thinking as (I hope) most parents, aunts, uncles, godparents, etc might think about, what if I don’t like the baby? Obviously, as a few month old right now, there’s not much to like or dislike. But when she gets older. I would HOPE that as she gets a bit older, she grows into a child, and adult, a person that I like, just for her, not out of duty because I’m her godmother and aunt. I hope she is interesting and nice, but not in a goody goody too nice way. What do people do who don’t like the kids in their lives? That must happen… I doubt she’ll be the next Bad Seed or anything, but she could just be..annoying. Or even..what if SHE doesn’t like ME? A lot of people don’t… Obviously this is not something I NEED to worry about now. I swear, my mind just finds more and more things to worry about. I guess we’ll cross that bridge when we get to it, but it was just something to think about… It’s most likely she’ll be a great person anyway. Have any of you known someone who this has happened to?

Family Food Cultures

2011-07-29T11:04:00.000-07:00

This is not a food blog, by any means, but I think a lot about food, so especially lately, a lot of that has been showing up. I was thinking the other day about people’s personal food cultures. Most of the time, I’m just here, eating, not thinking about my choices one way or the other, but then when I start going on trips and visiting and staying with people, or having people visit me, and seeing what they eat, it kind of stands out. An almost unconscious choice for me can seem strange to someone else. Each person, and even each household, slowly gains their own food culture, but it’s interesting to see how those can branch and change. Take my family, for instance. Growing up, there was my parents, me, my brother and my sister. We all had our little likes and dislikes, but on the whole, we ate as a unit, and had our own way of eating that was pretty normal to all of us. And then we grew up, and split up. Each of we three children started our own households, and our own ways of eating. My parents were now a smaller unit of two, and their ways of eating also changed. It’s interesting to see how a few years can make such a difference. Here I am, eating no HFCS, not a lot of sugar, lots of organic or whole type foods, etc. There my sister is, a vegetarian who hates vegetables, and eats, by her own admission, mainly reheated frozen things such as vegetarian patties, with some chocolate thrown in for good measure. And who knows what my brother eats… I will be going to visit my family in NH very soon, and was thinking about how different my diet will be while I’m there. I’d much rather eat at my parents house, because they have actual real food vs reheated chemically junk, even if some of it happens to have a lot of sugar or whatever. I was lucky to grow up in a household where my mother cooked homecooked meals for us, and we ate home grown veggies, and hand picked fruits in the summer. We didn’t eat white bread, we had whole grain, and we had 1% or fat free milk, although we ate too much meat and not enough vegetable variety. Still, I doubt that many families could have eaten much healthier in new England towns in the 80s and 90s! I’m looking forward to spreading my food culture back onto my parents, and maybe even my super picky sister’s, when I go home. How has your food culture changed from your family unit’s when growing up? Do you think you’re re-influencing them now?

San Diego Pride 2011

2011-07-28T11:22:00.000-07:00

Hanging with the Koalas at the Zoo!

San Diego was one of those vacations where I come home and I’m super sad that it’s over, grumbling over real life and wishing my life was always the way it was on vacation. But I guess life can’t be super awesome all of the time, otherwise even THAT would get boring. We need the long stretches of drudging along to make the special times seem more special, and really appreciate them. This fantastic vacation I am referring to was San Diego Pride. I went to SD Pride for the first time in 2010, and that was a lot of fun, but not even anything compared to the crazy time we had this year. This was a rock star vacation. It started out kinda eeh… My best friend Tristan and I left SF on Thursday, with a delayed plane & a weird airport restaurant (which I didn’t even eat at), and we arrived much later to SD than anticipated. After our friend we were staying with, Cavin, picked us up, we discovered that Tristan had left his bag on the airport curb, with some very important things such as a laptop inside! After a frantic drive through rush hour traffic back, it was STILL THERE! Wow! Stressful but great! Costco and dinner, and it was too late to work out. But oh no, dinner must have had nuts in it, because although tasty, I got sick. My first day in SD ended with an early bed time and me in pain. Friday I woke up feeling skaky, and Tristan and I got lost on the way to find brunch. Once we got there, a GIANT blackberry cornmeal pancake that filled an entire plate, plus a side of eggs and sausage, with a giant iced coffee in a jar got me feeling better. I got woofed at by a homeless girl on the way to the gym, and we had a marathon workout session of probably at least 2 ½ hours (this is what happens when you work out with a muscley guy) before going back to chill in and by the pool. Awesome, relaxing day, now there’s a real start to a vacation! Our last fellow house guest Drake arrived that evening, and after dinner we had a nice little house party.
Pride really started the next day. Saturday morning, friends came over, and by the time we made it out to see the parade, it was pretty much over. After stopping at Eden for a few minutes, we changed & were off to the Pool Party. That was a nice, chill time, leading to a yummy ethiopian dinner then out for the nite at the Saturday night pride party. We stayed till almost the end, saving a bit of energy for the next day. Sunday was the longest day. After resting in the morning, we made it to the San Diego zoo in late afternoon. This was my third time at the zoo, but the first time that there was a party. They set off a dance floor outside on the side, but our party tickets include admission to the zoo itself, and we made full use of that! I had a lot of fun roaming through the zoo, especially when it got dark, before we went back to dance! San Diego zoo is my favorite zoo, with lots of animals in nice habitats, instead of sad small cages like some places. From the zoo party it was time for the afterparty. I was surprised at how well Pagano played upstairs, a totally different, but great, sound from when I heard him in San Francisco. I hope i get to hear him like that again! The afterparty ended too soon for us at 4, so we closed it out and went to the after after party at Spin. DJ Luis Perez was so awesome! What an amazing, intimate club with music that was just perfect, all my favorite songs and lots of fun people. It was crazy!! Best party for last! We closed that club too and i was home by 9am, a great fun pride over. Monday brought some resting, and I got to see my friend Laura at dinner, who i didn't see the rest of the weekend, and it was time to head to the airport and home late, with work looming in the morning. Back to reality. Last year's pride was fun, but this year's pride was truly stellar. Friends, sun, music... Wish I could go back! Go here to see all the photos (yes, there's more)!

Photos by Merredith Lloyd & Cavin Knight

Sunny San Diego

Kona the Cat...my new friend

When we missed the Pride Parade

Pool Party

More Pool Party

So Pretty, but I'm Scared of Water..

View from the Balcony of the Club Saturday Night

Aw we're so Cute in the Backseat!

Got Up Close & Personal with the Lion

Here's our Zoo Group!

You Know I Love to Read!

On Stage at the Zoo Party!

Books and Book Reviews June 2011

2011-07-13T15:10:00.000-07:00

I review books on Goodreads.com. Every month, I'm listing the books here so that you can go over there and read the reviews if you want. Here are the books I read and reviewed in June 2011:
Foreign Babes in Beijing: Behind the Scenes in a New China by Rachel DeWoskin
Hemlock Bay FBI Thriller #6 by Catherine Coulter
Milkrun by Sarah Mlynowski
The Accidental Vampire by Lynsay Sands
Shanghai Baby by Wei Hui
I'm Not the New Me by Wendy McClure
On the Run by Iris Johansen
The Mercy Rule by Perri Klass
The Thief Taker A Novel by Janet Gleeson
Happy Hour at Casa Dracula by Marta Acosta
Deerskin by Robin McKinley

I Made Sourdough Bread Starter!

2011-07-12T11:15:00.000-07:00

Shh! My Starter is Resting!

Bread! When I was in college or so, I started making a lot of bread. I was really proud when I made my first loaf of real yeast, and then I kept trying more recipies... I also made a cake a every day or two, and my family couldn't keep up! Years and years later, I bought a coupon for a Sour Flour sourdough bread starter class. Sourdough is very SF, although i used to eat it by the loaf as a child. Our class was held in the kitchen of a mexican bakery in the mission. I arrived and found a class full of strangers, ready to get our starters, along with our teacher Danny and his assistant. The very first thing we did was examine Sour Flour's starter. The starter is named Dulce, and is over 2 years old, and was started in Honduras, I think they said. What is starter? It's flour and water, and natural yeast just comes about. But more usually, starter is started from a piece of someone else's starter, and that's how we got ours. But first, we mixed a mound of flour, a bunch of water, some of Dulce the starter, and a dash of salt together, directly on the table, no bowl, no spoon, no recipe, no measurement, no nothing. This became our dough for some flatbread, which we learned how to work and knead. My bread was the stickiest and least bread looking, oops. In between letting it rest, we got instruction about bread in general and how to feed and care for a starter. While the bread spent some time resting and rising, we each got a piece of Dulce with a little plastic home. We fed and watered our new starters, let them rest, learned to care for them. It's like having a pet! I learned that each day, I have to add in a bit of flour and water and knead it, then leave it to let it grow, to let the natural yeast in there to do its thing. Later, when I'm ready to make bread, I'll make extra starter by feeding it more, then use it in a recipe in place of the yeast you can buy in a packet. It's the natural and ancient way of doing things! I haven't made anything yet, but I'll report back when I do. At the end of the class, we shaped our our flatbread and baked it for a few minutes in 600 something oven, and when it came out, we had some with butter. I took the rest of mine home. We also had a more usual breadish there to try for comparison. It was made with the very same ingredients (flour, water, salt, starter) but left to rise for a day. I actually liked the ones we made ourselves better! Thanks to Sour Flour for a fun and interesting class, and I hope I can keep my starter alive in time to bake something with it!
Photos by Merredith Lloyd

The Oven We Baked The Bread In

The Back of a Bakery

We Didn't Use This Mixer, But it's Huge!

Flatbread We Made!

Left to Rise Longer, It Turns Into This!

I Made This!

Skyr

2011-07-05T11:09:00.000-07:00

I've been watching Bizarre Foods a lot lately...it's on Netflix on demand and roomie and i are almost all the way through the entire every seasons! One episode i watched was on Iceland, and we got to watch a woman making homemade skyr in her kitchen. They made it out of fat free milk and didn't look too hard to make. on the show, they ate it with sugar and cream, thereby taking away that natural healthiness. It looked like yogurt, but really is a soft cheese - yum! Soon after, when I was shopping at whole foods, i saw skyr for sale in different flavors, and brought it home. Yay for trying one of the 'bizarre' foods, although it's not really bizarre. It's so creamy and super rich, very protein filled, you would never even know there's no fat. it's sweetened with agave and fruit (we had pomegranite passion fruit) so there's no sugar. this decadent snack is perfect, especially since it has live cultures, which helps against lactose-induced tummy aches. Have you tried skyr? What do you think?

SF Pride 2011

2011-07-01T12:55:00.000-07:00

View of the Castro Block Party Pink Party

I’ve been to SF Pride every year I’ve been here, but it’s never been a highlight. Some years have been more fun than others, but it’s never been a super fun weekend. Too many tourists, too many drunkies, too hectic…until this year. I wasn’t expecting it to be awesome, but I ended up having tons of fun! This year was my favorite SF Pride weekend ever! Some people started pride a bit earlier in the week, but I had an exhausting week at work and was even less inclined than usual to go out. On Thursday, I actually fell asleep right after dinner. EXHAUSTING. So I wasn’t totally looking forward to going out Friday to start out my weekend. I was kind of fantasizing about snuggling between the covers and zzzing. But I didn’t want to be boring, so as soon as my roomie and mine’s houseguest Cavin, who was visiting for the weekend, arrived after dinner, we set off for the Duro pride kickoff party. We met up there with Drake who was also visiting, and Sarah, who lived around the corner from the bar, and David, who was also visiting, and more friends joined as the night progressed. DJ Misha Skye opened, then a drag performance, then my best friend/roomie DJ Tristan Jaxx came on, and we all had a fun time dancing. It was a nice diverse crowd! This was followed by a funny walk around the city in the middle of the night, and watching my friends eat pancakes at 4am. The next morning, after such a late night following a long work week, I never made it to the park. There is a big pride thing in the park every Saturday of pride with lots of women, and guys too, and I’d told some people I’d go, but I was beat already, and it was windy and not that warm. In fact, it was the coldest I’ve ever seen pride weekend here. So, sorry to the park people. Soon it was time to head to dinner with Tristan, Cavin and Drake, then off to Locoya’s Pre Pink Pride Party at his house in Castro. There is a giant block party outside at this time, and my friend Carina joined me for lots of fun people watching, both out the window, and right inside the party. We learned that to a large amount of women, pride equals let’s wear too tall shoes and get way too drunk. Girls in stilettos were falling left and right. On top of each other, in the middle of the street, on the dance floor of the party, down stairs. It got so that we were a little afraid to walk, lest we be attacked by an overly drunk falling girl. Why do they do that to themselves? Well, whatever, it was of large entertainment value. I should have videoed some of them, I just wasn’t thinking! Seriously ladies, show some self control!! Besides the drunken girls, the party was fun, got to see more friends and hang out, and soon it was time to go change for the big party of the night, Colossus. We arrived late, and heard only the tail end of DJ Hector Fonseca’s set, but it sounded very good. That place was PACKED!!! And Sound Factory is a really large space, but it was STILL packed! Just walking down the hall was like being in a traffic jam! Wynter Gordon performed well and then DJ Paulo came on. He was AWESOME. This was probably the best I’ve ever heard him play. Loved it. He kept a nice high energy playing, instead of being too droney trancey. It was dark yet upbeat at the same time, which is the best. We closed out the club yet again, but instead of 2am like Friday night, this ended around 7 am. Great night! I NEVER make it to the pride parade on Sundays. Who can get there that early, unless they don’t sleep? I like sleep, so that’s what I did instead. By the time I was up and ready, it was almost time to go to dinner again. Yep, the night owl life for me! We had reservations at Supperclub. I'd actually never been there for a meal. There are a few over the world, and you eat on beds and they do a show. Kind of what i do at home since we have no table lol. It was really trippy there... someone on stilts, pink and purple lighting, weird images on the screens... there were a series of shows such as acrobatics, singing and a human pretzel. The food was yummy, but very small and expensive. Each of the first two courses were only a couple bites each, more like appetizers. The last dish was dessert, and the waitress presented two of us the plates and said here are your nut allergy desserts. Further investigation, and sickness from my friend, proved that they were actually sweet peanut butter sandwiches that they'd removed the garnish nuts from the top of, not thinking that peanut butter contained nuts. THEY are nuts! We did end up getting a meal comped, but a friend was sick for hours :( I only tasted a lick so my mouth got itchy but i was ok. Hours later, after recovering, we set out for the last party of the weekend, Sanctuary. DJ Jamie Sanchez did a good job, and was nearing the end of his set again when we arrived. DJ Alexander took over, and got more energetic towards the end of the night, around quarter of four. Saturday night had been more hectic yet super fun, and Sunday night was more friend concentrated. Everyone was there. It was packed again, and we closed out the night again, with the last people on the dancefloor at a little after six am when it ended being mostly people i knew. It's always fun having your alarm go off for work when you're on your way home from the club! I fell asleep just as I would be almost to work, and slept Monday away, waking up for some yummy Patxis pizza and tv. Best SF Pride Ever!!! Thanks to all my friends who made it so great! Now I can't wait for Pride part 2 in a couple weeks in San Diego, featuring most of the same people, plus a couple more friends! YAY! Stay tuned...

Photos by Merredith Lloyd, David Wong & Richard Henry Thomas

Duro

Locoya's Pre Pink Party

Locoya's Pre-Pink Party

Locoya's Pre Pink Party

Feet Under the Table on the Bed at Supperclub

View of Supperclub

The Green Crayon

2011-06-30T11:19:00.000-07:00

This morning I was walking through my neighborhood on my way to work and I saw a crayon. A new looking green crayola crayon was lying on the sidewalk in front of the house. It’s the last day of June, and it’s actually warm for once, something sometimes rare in San Francisco. Looking at the crayon, I noticed the air. It smelled of summer. Not just summer, but sun warmed earth and growing plants. I immediately wanted to just be able to lie down in a bunch of grass and plants and rest in the sunshine and roll around. I was transported back to my childhood. Not the horrible days at school, the loneliness of being around other children who never liked me, but the childhood of June 30^th way back when. This was when time was always perfect. School had just let out, there were two whole months stretching before me. Two whole months of hotness, where I never had to feel cold. Two whole months of wandering around my yard and the woods, of taking walks and reading books, of cooking and spending time with my family. Two whole months ahead of perfection. That crayon even flashed me back farther…to before I moved to NH, when I was really young, and would spend time doing coloring projects at school, back when I had friends, or at home, making up stories about each of the crayon colors as if they were people. All of this thinking happened in an instant. I barely paused as I passed, so as not to be late to work. But even now, later, I’m left with a feeling of sadness and longing for those days. A feeling of being really old, and loss for something that can’t be repeated. It’s not like good, happy moments don’t happen all the time (just the fact that I can walk on the way to work on a nice day, instead of being imprisoned in a car is a blessing), but I still miss those old perfect times.

Spanish Lessons

2011-06-29T11:30:00.000-07:00

I like the spanish language. I saw a coupon a while back for foreign language lessons on livemocha.com and bought it. You get a whole month where you can take lessons whenever you want, at your own pace. My month started about a month ago probably, and I've been on there once. I think this coupon adventure is going to fail. In highschool, we had the choice of learning spanish or french. I'm not positive, but I think everyone had to take at least one year of another language. I WANTED to take it, at first, and I had to take it because my parents said I had to for college. I chose spanish because I'd taken french for part of a year in first grade, a class for kids who were bored with the whole alphabet learning to read stuff I already knew that they were teaching in the normal class. That lost funding, but I was never a french fan. Back to spanish. My spanish teacher was a bitch. She was. She hated me for some unknown reason, and I really didn't like her. I managed to not learn too much, but no one else did either. That was my first period and I actually hated it more than math. Fortunately, she didn't last. The next year, we had a new teacher. He was nicer, and at first more interesting. He told us the story of when he was teaching in Colombia (where he was from) and he took a class up on a volcano. But then he told the same thing over, and over and over. Once again, we learned nothing. I didn't dread this class everyday, but I knew it was a waste of time. Junior year, we had another new teacher. (Seriously, it was like the defense of dark arts teacher in harry potter! Before harry potter was written..). Fortunately, she was great, and fortunately, she stayed. In those 2 years, I learned spanish, got to write in a journal in spanish every day, learned from college books, with a grammar book, literature book and culture book. It was great! I loved it! By college, I tested out of the language requirement through my SAT2, but took spanish anyway. It was boring again. Bleh. Teachers really do count. After that semester, I never took it again, although I was able to read and use spanish written articles for my mesoamerica anthropology class, and understood everything the spanish guides said when I went to Mexico junior year. Which brings me to this online thing. I don't want to review my spanish skills by reading and listening to boring restaurant scenes. I don't care who ordered dessert first, how, and what they ordered. Does anyone ENJOY learning this way? I quit… Maybe sometime soon I'll take up a spanish novel and refresh that way.

I Went to the Chiropractor

2011-06-14T15:05:00.000-07:00

I've always had back issues. When I was in middle school and high school i'd get SO stressed out that my whole back and neck would absolutely knot up, as well as migranes...i was forever begging my parents to rub my back for me, i was always in pain. It got better going into college then picked up again by senior year. Senior year even migrane pain OTC meds didn't do anything for me anymore. In the many years since then, my head got a billion times better and my back goes on and off. While in college, my mother told me a story of her friend's friend who got paralysed after seeing a chiropractor. I was scared. In the past year or two, i started seeing massage therapists to help with my back issues, but they always counsel me that maybe I should see a chiropractor. finally i was starting to think that maybe i should put aside my fears and go, when suddenly i hurt my lower back (possibly from lifting weights). I sucked it up and got a referral from my doctor and went. It was fine! One reason I'm posting this up is in case anyone else has trepedations about going. I was a little late to my first appointment, due to the whole public transportation system breaking down, but I finally got there, and everyone was friendly. I didn't even have to put on a johnnie, I just wore my regular clothes, and he felt my back, neck, head, spine. It turned out I had, just as I suspected, two issues - the new lower back problem, and the existing upper back thing. I started going in twice a week for almost 3 weeks, just tiny fifteen minute visits, right near work, on my insurance. He'd feel my back, crack have me breathe in then out and crack it, then have me position myself and then he'd sort of snap my body. On the 2nd or 3rd visit, as I was leaving, I suddenly felt so LIGHT. A lot of the knotted tension was gone, my vertebrae were not sticking together, things could move around in there. All that blood and spinal cord fluid moving around better left me dizzy and lightheaded for a few hours. My favorite part of the visits was at either the end or beginning, I'd get to go on the roller table for a few minutes. It's like a massage chair, but as a table, it just rolls up and down. So relaxing! It functions to just loosen things up. Finally, at the end of my treatments, the doctor had loosened things up as much as possible, and aligned my neck, spine, etc. I was kind of sad, because it really helped the tension I get every day. That tension still builds up, and I'd love him to crack my back every day and help it. I wasn't to 100% lower back wise yet, I'm almost there now…I've been lifting lower weights and being super careful, but I think it's a matter of the muscles and tendons healing too. I can feel that it's more freer to move around, in my dance and kickboxing classes, and in pilates too. There was no reason to have been scared and I'll definitely go back again if needed!

Snapshot Early Spring Edition

2011-06-10T11:30:00.000-07:00

It's been a while since I did a Snapshots post, so here are some random fun photos for a Friday. Photos from February, March and April that I don't think ever made it onto any other blogs.

Me and Rey on his Birthday in February

Me with Marques and Richard for Marques's Birthday in February

Me, Chris and Tristan at Industry MLK Weekend January

Me and Tristan at Industry in February

Tristan, Antonio, Me & Chris at Pound in April

I'm the Easter Bunny on Easter in April

Me and JR at Epic in April

Posing at Epic in April

my new Pencil Skirt in March

Celebrating Earth Day in April

Photos by various people.. click on the photo to see credits, or go here.

Super Skinny Slim Me

2011-06-09T15:16:00.000-07:00

I watched two BBC documentaries, Super Skinny Me and Super Slim Me on Youtube (you can go watch them too). On one, they took two 'regular' looking sized reporter women and they five weeks to get down to a US size 0. They tried all of these crazy methods, starving themselves, colonics, overexercising... one of them reached the goal, and promptly went back to her normal life after, although she was irritable, sick and tired throughout. One of them developed an eating disorder and had to drop out. This really alarmed me because it was so dangerous! I hope that the latter woman was really able to fix herself...she seemed kinda shaky afterward.
In the second one, they had a cute slim but not skinny reporter who also had to reach size 0 in 8 weeks. She did more investigative work and interviewing people and such, and less on actually doing the dangerous behaviors. More research, less guinea pig. Safer. She did, however, carry out a 500 calorie a day diet. That seems insane. And throughout the whole thing, all of these size 0 women (particularly the ones she found when she went to LA for a couple weeks) told her that they all just didn't eat or didn't like to eat. I dunno...this kind of seems staged. There is a myth that skinny people don't eat. This myth hurts everyone. It hurts larger people, because they wrongly believe that if they do crazy things like eat just 500 calories a day and starve themselves and such, they will become as skinny as these other people they see in the street. Larger people are imagining this sad starved life that that women they just saw passing on the street, or that they see on the tv screen leads. Skinny girls, size 0 or other sizes are also harmed, by the misconception that they are shallow, unhealthy, weird and fixated on starving themselves. SOMETIMES those skinny girls really do starve themselves. SOMETIMES if you're a larger girl (or guy) and you starve yourself, you can be skinny too. But not usually. I can attest that..most skinny people arent hungry. Most skinny people eat. Anyone, skinny, fat, in the middle, will become healthier if they exercise a bit and eat healthy (healthy does not equal starvation). Healthier does not equal skinnier, skinnier doesn't equal healthier. Half those skinny people are pigging out on junkfood. Most of the other half are just living kinda healthy but normal. Some people just ARE skinny/medium/large. Never, never starve yourself to be skinny! It won't work, you won't be healthy, and unless you're making a documentary like these three women were, it won't gain you anything.

Hearing Aid Thoughts & Do You Have One?

2011-06-07T12:03:00.000-07:00

I've been thinking about hearing aids. Do any of you Tantalizing Tidbits readers wear a hearing aid? I have bad hearing. I don't know when I started having bad hearing, but it was early on. It was before I started wearing headphones or earbuds, it was before I started going out to clubs. I didn't ruin my own hearing. People always warn that the abovementioned activities will ruin your hearing, but I always say so what? Mine's already bad anyway. My bad hearing isn't a punishment for doing something wrong, it just IS. My family has always known I have bad hearing. Talking to me is sometimes like playing that game telephone, between the hearing and my tendency to not pay attention. My grandfather and aunt on my father's side both had/have hearing aids, big ugly things, and somehow during college, my parents took me to an audiologist. I had tests. They found out I have a 40-50% hearing loss in my high range of hearing. I hear low sounds average or even better than average. They didn't know why, so I had more tests. They never figured out why, but they suggested a hearing aid. I didn't want one. I'd seen my relatives have them. I'd seen some other people with them. I was a teenaged girl, I didn't want one. Over the years, I still havent. Not just for vanity reasons, but just because I don't want another aspect where I'm broken. I already have poor eyesight and have to wear glasses or contacts. There's already a billion other things wrong with me, I want to not have hearing be another thing. I want to be able to cope without some machine in my ear. I think I've done well. And, if I can't hear that cell phone on that movie, or the timer beeping, or the bird singing, oh well. But there is one thing that's been bothering me…music. I LOVE music. When I listen to my ipod, I THINK I hear the music ok. Of course, I never know what high pitched sounds I'm missing unless someone points them out to me that they're happening. But those earbuds are right in my ears, so I hear the songs and theyre AWESOME. But sometimes when I go out to clubs, I can't hear the music well. There's a lot of old people in San Francisco, and they complain, turn down the music! But not me, I'm wishing they'd turn it UP. Sometimes I end up hearing the bass, but missing out on the song. Other people are loving that song, but I can't even figure out what it is, because all I can hear is that bass, with my good low hearing. So I was thinking, maybe it's time to start thinking about a hearing aid? I've been reading up, and it says that unlike glasses, which can correct a person's vision to normal, hearing aids cannot correct hearing to normal, they mainly amplify what's there to try and let you hear some of it. That can amplify other things as well. I don't want low sounds amplified, I already hear them very well, too well sometimes. So, do any of you have hearing aids? What are some advantages? What are some disadvantages? How was your life changed by getting a hearing aid? I'd be really interested to hear about it!

Tomato Bulgur Soup - Meatless Monday recipe!

2011-06-06T11:30:00.000-07:00

I saved this post to go up one Monday for a Meatless Monday. Some months ago, my roommate was gone for a few days, and i decided to try out some new recipes, since i was going to be cooking for myself. I was catching a bit of a cold, so i thought i'd try some soups or stews. my roomie can't have a meal without meat in it, so i thought i'd try a vegetarian dish for a change. once i started shopping, i realized that one recipe was going to be sufficient, since i can't eat THAT much over a couple of days. I settled on Tomato Bulgar Soup. This recipe turned out to be more of a thick grainy stew, but it's DELICIOUS! The lemon and the spices combine into this taste that is just ADDICTIVE! and the feta on top. MMM i couldn't stop eating it..my stomach was about to burst! You, too, can enjoy this yummilicious recipe over at Whole Foods! Go try it!

Books and Book Reviews May 2011

2011-06-03T11:30:00.000-07:00

I read a lot. A LOT. There's always a book or two or three lying around my room, my bag, my cubicle, with bookmarks. I used to try and review the books here on my blog, but it got to be too many and i fell behind. Then i tried again, reviewing them in just a sentence or two, but that didn't work either. Then i started using goodreads.com and that seems to be working. when i finish a book, i just stick the review on there, and it posts to my facebook and twitter. It's a site that lets people be friends, and helps recommend books you may be interested in, and keep track of what you've read, are reading, and want to read. There's a goodreads badge over on the right side of my blog, but if you want to see book reviews, join me over there at my goodreads profile.
I think that each month I'll try to list the books I finished that month, so you can see if you want to go over and read the reviews if you want.
The 4 Hour Work Week by Timothy Ferriss
Shapeshifting For the Win by Ellie Green
Prep by Curtis Sittenfeld
Mindless Eating Why We Eat More Than We Think by Brian Wansink
Hit By A Farm: How I Learned to Stop Worrying & Love the Barn by Catherine Friend
Dreams from My Father by Barak Obama
Deception by Jonathan Kellerman
Yield by Lee Houck
Black Creek Crossing by John Saul

Reborning Play

2011-06-01T11:51:00.000-07:00

Pl The week before last I live tweeted the play Reborning at SF Playhouse. For those that haven't been following along, that means that the theatre asks some people to come in one performance each play and sit in the backrow and live blog our play watching experience. Love it!! Antonio came with me, though not to tweet. We both ended up enjoying the play! This was my second favorite production of theirs, second only to Wirehead. When I had read this play was about a dollmaker, I was thinking doll as in what I played with as a child. When I arrived, I saw that the lobby had photographs and information about Reborn dolls, which I'd seen a documentary about a while back. There are a couple of documentaries online that you can see (and maybe on netflix too) and if you haven't seen them, and even if you aren't planning to see the play, you should google and watch, because it's really interesting, weird, and kind of sad. There are some people out there who make baby dolls, not regular ones, but ones that look exactly like newborn babies. Women and men commission these dolls maybe because they've always wanted a child, or maybe they had a baby and the baby died, or they're just lonely. Many of the doll owners treat the babies like they're real, pushing them around in strollers and walking them, taking them to the park, the store, etc. Other people see them and think they're real but sleeping, and even compliment the 'parents' on their 'child.' It's quite weird, and worth watching. In this play, the main character is a woman who creates these dolls. She lives with her boyfriend who creates dildos (lol complimentary!) I really don't want to give away what happens, in case you go see it, but the play ends up exploring why someone would make these dolls, why someone would want to buy these dolls, and other things as infant death, abuse, abandonment. During the play, they have a screen that shows a closeup of her working on a Reborn doll, and it's very creepy. Sharp tools in a lifelike baby's eye…knowing that this baby is the image of a dead baby… It was especially more creepy to me, because I have a brand new baby neice. I kept thinking about baby Lana throughout the play. The second play in a row that presented very thought provoking topics in an inventive and engaging way. I can't wait to see what SF Playhouse does next! Don't take my word for it, this play is still going on, but not for long! It runs until June 11th, so make your reservation now and catch this play!

I Made Ricotta Cheese

2011-05-31T11:30:00.000-07:00

We made this ricotta!

I like doing weird new things, so when I saw that there was a cheesemaking class, I decided to go. Flash forward a couple months later, when it actually was happening, and I realized it was way out in the suburbs, a Bart train ride away, and that I had to wake up at 8am on a Saturday in order to be ready and over there in time for 1. AAH! Sane thinking isn't my forte. I ended up getting off at the wrong bart stop and being a couple minutes late to the class, but as it stretched on for hours, I was fine. The class was given by the SF Milkmaid, who holds a variety of different cheesemaking classes, but ours was to make Ricotta Cheese. I love ricotta, I used to eat it plain as a snack, especially a billion years ago when I tried that Atkins Diet. Anyway, when I arrived, everyone else was already in their aprons. I quickly donned mine (homemade by my mother!) and stood to watch. We were cooking a few gallons of whey on the stovetop. You have to cook and stir it very slowly, over a long, long time, with a thermometer, to get the temperature up without burning it. On the second burner we had a large pot of whole milk, for the next batch. While those heated, we got a little overview of the history of cheese (invented by nomads who used to carry milk in stomach linings as they traveled), and did some taste testing of different types of cheese she'd bought. We tried fat free trader joe's, whole milk trader joe's, whole goat milk ricotta from a local place, and a ricotta from the same local place made with cream. To me, the local place ones were too watery. The goat's tasted like nothing, and the cream one was too rich. The whole cow milk ricotta from TJ was ok, but my favorite was the fat free one. I was the ONLY one whose favorite was the fat free one, I guess I'm just used to skim milk? Everyone else seemed to prefer the local cream one… We learned how milk is curdled to create whey, using rennet, citric acid or vinegar. But our whey was already made, leftover from a batch of cheese she'd made earlier. Once we heated the whey to the correct temperature, we added in a little whole milk, and some salt. Then kept stirring (I didn't actually stir myself, my hair has a tendency to fall out, all the cheese eaters should thank me). Once it reached the next right temperature, we added vinegar. We added it a few times, waiting to see if it got to the right amount. Soon it did, and the cheese curdled and popped fizzed up, and it was made! I must point out that all of this stirring took about 1 1/2 hrs. We brought the pot outside and scooped the cheese from the pan into cheese drainers. Three gallons of whey made a small bowl of cheese, as the cheese mostly floated on the top few inches. After this, we concentrated on the whole milk cheese, which was the same as the whey one, except there was a less step, because there was no need to add anything except the salt and vinegar. This cheese burnt a bit. They also did a skim milk cheese, and a milk/cream combo cheese, in tiny batches. I got to try them all, and my favorite was the whey one, which is also one of the healthiest, because it's mostly fat free. The skim milk one was light and airy, but with less taste. The whole milk one tasted kind of burnt, and the cream one was a bit rich, once again. By the time all of these were done, it had been nearly 3 hours, and it didn't make much cheese. Our teacher pointed out that unless you have access to a cow or goat, it will cost more money and time to make your own cheese than to buy it. The cheese came out good but I missed the heavier texture of ricotta that I’m used to, and I kind of prefer store bought (I know - sacrilege! Lol). I don't think I'd take the hours to stand there and stir and make my own cheese, but it's interesting that now I know how to do it. After we finished, we had a bbq. Since it was not in the city, it was sunny and 70 degrees warm. I didn't know anyone but they were all friendly, and someone gave me a ride back to the bart station, where I was able to get on a train, and make it home by almost 8pm, just in time for a small nap before the night. What a LONG LONG day! I'm not positive that I'd consider a trek way out there again, but I'm glad I tried something new!

Photos by Merredith Lloyd

ready to leave on my cheese adventure

merri homemaker with my apron

heating up the cheese

Some things used to make cheese

Rennet, used to make cheeses

The cheese is done cooking!

straining the cheese

drying cheese

the juice that's leftover, good for chickens to eat

Sugarfree Banana Applesauce "brownies"

2011-05-27T14:48:00.000-07:00

On a quest for sugarfree desserts, we found a recipe for brownies made with bananas and applesauce on the Delectably Free blog. My photo isn't as great as the one the original blog has, when we make them, they come out kind of looking like poops. The first time i ate it, i didn't hate it, but wasn't a fan. Then the next day, they tasted way better! The next time we made them, they came out better for some reason. Maybe the bananas were too ripe the first time? Although they're called brownies, it's more like a fudgey cake, best eaten with ice cream on top. If you use sugarfree ice cream, you've got a sugarfree dessert! Although, i've been hearing some conflicting things about agave nectar... We used butter, not buttery spread, because butter is better for you than chemically butter substitutes, and more importantly, tastes way better. Ever since i grew up, i've been a butter girl because as a kid, it was a special treat we could never afford. yum. anyway, check out the recipe here!

these things taste better than they look...

For those of you who like to read about workouts - switching things up

2011-05-26T14:33:00.000-07:00

Closer to the beginning of the year was when I realized I'd bought too many of those social couponing coupons for workout classes and they were all going to expire so close to each other that I had to carefully calendar out all of them in order to be able to use them all. This was a little bad, in that I HAD to go to each one, with no leeway, or there wouldn't be time and some of the coupons would be wasted, but mostly good, because I had a really varied workout. For a couple months, I was always doing something new. But then those ended, and I was left with my usual gym, and the gym classes they offered on Tuesdays and Wednesdays, and I got bored. Really bored. Did I even LIKE going to the gym anymore? Then two things happened - one, I learned that my gym's classroom was being renovated for almost a month, and all classes were canceled, and two, I hurt my back, and suddenly my workout was mixed up, without my permission. I was upset, but now I realize, that was GREAT! After almost two weeks of pain, and doing things like lying on the floor of an empty office at work, I went to the chiropractor, which I'll write about later on another post, but this meant I had to keep to low key workouts. The renovation made me rethink my whole schedule. I'm a member of 24 hour fitness, which means I can go to whatever branch I want. I've used this for going to the gym in San Diego, but I never switch it up in my own city. I'd tried the other close branches once each and quickly dismissed them. This time, I printed out the class schedules and pored over them. I tried new things. I noticed some of the other gyms were renovated since I'd seen them. And I got variety! I also felt like a lump from doing less working out. This week, my gym classroom reopened, and I had my last two back appointments. I COULD just go back to what I used to do, but I decided to integrate both things. So now I have a new awesome schedule: Monday I'm doing a longer kickboxing than I used to, at gym C, Tuesday, I'm back at my old zumba and bodypump classes at my original gym Se, Wednesday, instead of my old classes, I found a fun pilates class at gym Su, Thursday I'm doing a dance class at gym Sa, and Friday a yoga class back at gym C. A note here about the importance of good teachers. While I couldn't do my weight lifting bodypump class on Tuesdays, I tried a pilates class for 3 weeks. I love pilates, but this teacher was so blech. I got this mean vibe off of her. I stared at the class the whole time. I had NEVER hated a pilates class in any of the ones I've ever tried out, but this one, yech. I found out they have one on Wednesday instead and switched over, and love pilates once again. On Wednesdays, I used to do yoga. I never liked it. The teacher seemed like an ok person, but the way she taught was so..cold. When I tried a Friday yoga class at the other gym, I was amazed! It's so casual! He compliments us and gives us feedback. He says yay! I'm slightly concerned that the class is a little less advanced, but decided that the teacher mattered more, and switched over, which made me lose my old kickboxing class but let me discover the new pilates one. Change is good! A last note on my new exercising, if you like zumba, check out U-Jam Fitness. It's like zumba, but you dance to contemporary music, like hip hop and bollywood and things like that. I'm not a hip hop fan, but it's fun when we're in class, and I feel like I'm in jersey shore with the fist pumping. This week when I started my full new schedule, my whole self perked up. I'm in a way better mood, my body feels better, I feel great. Just goes to show that it's very important to switch things up!

Finding my Place, as an Introvert

2011-05-25T11:30:00.000-07:00

from now on, you'll probably be seeing a lot of introvert related posts. since figuring out what an introvert actually is and that i am one, ive been devouring information online. The Introvert's Corner blog has been like my bible. i've been reading post after post, and sometimes more importantly, all the reader's comments. its awesome. its like i'm coming out as an introvert, only nothing about learning about girls, or other girls who like girls, has ever felt as familiar and resonated as much. i dont usually have much in common with ANYONE. i usually feel like i have no identity, in a world where everyone is generally boxed and labeled. i'm female, but females puzzle me. ya I am attracted to women, but i don't consider myself a lesbian, because nothing about lesbian culture has ever resonated in the slightest, but neither really does straight or bi. My breasts might be small, but they're there - i'm not a guy. I do get along best with guys because I seem to think most like them, but even though once in a while they or I forget, I am different, and it's always there. i do pretty well at work, but i'm not a cubicle office person, and certainly i'm just playing a role being a legal admin assistant. the more i learn about or live within a group, the more I see that i'm just on the outside. none of that is me. some of it repulses me, some bores me, some is interesting or even fun but still not me. But reading about introverts, and their experiences, and how they think of things, it's more often than not - 'yes, yes, that happens to me! i feel that way too!.' thank god, i've FINALLY found something that i am. someplace i fit not all (cuz who can fit all) but most of the criteria. i'm not a raving lunatic from being different from everyone around me, there are others. ok, i know i'm still not normal. i'll probably still be single forever. i'll probably still never figure out what i want to be career wise. i'll never be just one of the girls. but somewhere out there there is someone at least a little bit like me.

Super Muffins

2011-05-23T11:03:00.000-07:00

muffins

I can eat sugar now, but my roommate for the most part still doesn't, and since we eat meals together, that means i'm pretty much still not either. i was craving some muffins and saw a recipe for healthy super muffins on a blog that I read. These take a lot of ingredients, and having a food processor is a must, but they really are healthy! the blueberries give them some sweetness. the whole batch was gone in two days between the two of us. Check out the recipe for yourself at Life Bliss Solutions!

pretty batter!

Sunrise, Sunset, Swiftly Fly the Years

2011-05-17T14:14:00.000-07:00

I wrote this a few weeks ago and forgot to publish it...
Monday through Friday, five days a week, my days are pretty the same, especially at the beginning. At 643am, my alarm goes off, and I struggle to get out of bed, fighting the usual nausea and fact that sometimes my legs won't even hold me up, until I can jump in the shower, dress, makeup, update my two blog facebook fan pages, make lunches and go. Walk, bus, subway, lots of jostling, crowded, rude people, cranky people, getting pushed, shoved, and I'm at my stop. I get off, and there is a guy with a sax playing, Sunrise, Sunset from Fiddler on the Roof. I kind of liked that song, but EVERY morning he's playing it. Ok, not every, but a lot. I don't arrive at precisely the same time, so he must play it over and over in a loop. "sunrise, sunset, sunrise, sunset, swiftly fly the years, one season following another…" The song really goes with the pattern. One day is just like the one before, and time just flies by in some sort of horrible, mundane loop. Work, breakfast, work, lunch, work, gym, home, dinner, tv, bed, and it all begins again. It really scares me that any given day is pretty interchangable with another. Every time I hear that song every morning, I feel how I'm wasting my life away. Why doesn't he just play something else!?! I wish I could in some way find something about myself that I'm good or special at, so I can distinguish myself and break out of this pattern. No more cube. Oh well, on a happy note to end things, every time I look at my flickr account, I look like I'm always busy doing tons of fun things. So I must not be wasting away entirely. Thank goodness for the weekends I guess!

Join Me for Another Live Tweet on the 19th - Reborning

2011-05-16T14:57:00.000-07:00

It's that time again, the time when I get to live tweet a play! Yes, catch me this Thursday May 19th as I live tweet SF Playhouse's production of Reborning. This will be at 8pm PST, and you can follow me at www.twitter.com/merrijane or see what the other tweeters are saying as well, at www.twitter.com/SFPlayhouse. Here's the synopsis:

This dark comedy takes an unsettling look at work, latex, and the power of creation. A young artist who crafts custom made dolls begins to suspect that a demanding client may be the mother who abandoned her at birth. As she tries to unravel the mystery, she discovers the path to her own "Reborning.”

Don't forget, you can join in, discuss, question, whatever. Tweet you then!

I got an Herbal Body Wrap!

2011-05-16T10:37:00.000-07:00

(Photo by Rick) this mummy is in SF like me!

I swear I live my life by coupons sometimes…but they always lead me to new situations! I had bought a coupon for an herbal body wrap from Avra Organic Spa here in SF because I knew a couple other people who had done it, and it seemed like something new and interesting, very pamper-ish. It was expiring so I went last week. It's way out in the tourist area, but inside it seemed peaceful. The one thing that was a bit weird was that it seemed a little to weight-focused. While I sat in the waiting room, which was called the tea room, they had free tea with cute little ceramic cups, and the tea was yummy, but it was called weight loss tea. I had to fill out a form before my appointment, asking me how much I weigh and how much I want to weigh, and what my clothing size is and what my ideal size would be. I was more spa, relaxation, good for my skin geared as I'm not actively looking to lose weight. That was just my one weird thing. Once in the wrap room, I had to strip down to my bra & undies, and a friendly woman came in and wrapped me with herbal water soaked strips of fabric. Yep, just like a mummy! So strange, it was like I was being buried alive egyptian style. Next, I climbed onto a bed thing, on top of a sheet soaked in the same solution, then she wrapped me up like a burrito. I couldn't move my arms or anything! She put a blanket over that, with heating pads to keep me warm, a towel over my face, turned off the lights, on the music, and left me for 45 minutes or so. Aah, this is relaxing, I thought. Then I realized I had an itch on my face. And I can't scratch because I can't move. So I tried scrunchling my face, but that didn’t work. I tried using my tongue. Eventually all my moving my head around moved my towel and it was now covering my mouth and nose. So I tipped my head back and used a combo of my tongue, mouth, and eyebrows to get it up at least off of my mouth, so I could breathe. Ok, now I will relax! Oh no, another itch! Basically, I stink at relaxing, and my brain went a billion miles a minute as usual. It was otherwise peaceful, however. When the time was up, the woman unburitto'ed me and unwrapped all my bandages. The mummy became a person again! So, would I get another wrap? Maybe not. I think I'd prefer to spend my money on a massage…I'm just not still enough of a person for something like that. Also, I didn't feel any difference. It was supposed to detox me for hours after - I wasn't allowed to shower till the next morning, despite my itchy, itchy skin after. I don't think I felt detoxed…honestly, I'm not sure I know what detoxed feels like :) I'm sure my skin somehow got nourished, so I'm glad I went! Another adventure!

Let's all Learn about Introverts (Like me!) - A Must Read!

2011-05-09T10:30:00.000-07:00

If I could change one thing about myself, it would be for me to enjoy being social. Just about everyone I know or hear about would rather spend their weekends and nights being around other people. This could be at bars, restaurants, parties, sporting events, get togethers, who knows what. People like being around other people. I'm an anomaly. Although I WANT to want to be around others all the time, it tires me out. It drains me. When I told my friend that other people literally suck the energy out of me, he thought I was being weird and overdramatic. I AM weird and overdramatic, but in this case, it's true. After being around other people, I need time by myself to recharge. I need to retreat inward (not that I ever achieve outwardness) to recuperate. This energy thing does sometimes work in my favor…if I'm by myself ALL the time, for a days on end, I run out of my own energy and need to be around others to get some of theirs. If I'm in a place where everyone is super happy and energetic, I can feed off of that, or someone I have a connection to. But in general, 90% of the time, I feel drained. I typed this into google, and discovered that I'm NOT the only one. This happens to others, just not people I know, or if it happens to them, they don't talk about it. I mean, it sounds crazy, why WOULD they talk about it? People accuse me of having no feelings, not being a real human being, but the truth is I feel everything, all the time, and have to put a block up so I don't break down. Adding to this my tiny attention span & my lack of knowledge of how to behave like everyone else, and it's a wonder I can function in society at all! Yes, I'm introverted. Now, I know that people often say that term, but most don't know what it really involves. I didn't. I kind of thought of it as a pejorative term, but found that it's something that is intrinsic to a person's makeup. I found a very informative article…"the child who immediately, when he comes home from school, escapes to the privacy of his room for time alone; the speaker who presents beautifully in front of 1200 people but who leaves a few minutes into the social hour because he says he can't deal with large groups of people; the quiet student who always has a book in hand, commonly plays alone, and whose favorite place is the reading corner; the adult who is vocal and social in a small group of people but who becomes silent and withdrawn if she is made to work in a larger one;..the individual who when attending a conference or convention can only take so much socializing and hustle and has to retreat to the privacy of her hotel room to 're-center' herself. " The article explains that introverts are not necessarily shy. I'm not really shy either. I have no problem with public speaking or things like that. I can take charge when needed. It also says how extroverts always kind of pity introverts, and try to make them have fun the way THEY think is fun. It's true, most people I know are extroverts, and they'll say, why don't you go do this or that? Why?? Because I LIKE sitting and reading my book. I LIKE sitting at home and writing, or looking up random things online, or watching tv, or relaxing. I need it. In order to be able to go to work and be in the world each day, I need to recharge by myself at night. And look at this sentence!! - "Introverts get their energy from themselves and are drained by people; extraverts get their energy from other people and are drained by being alone." Not everything in this article fits me, but no one is a cookie cutter. Introverts hate being the center of attention but really I don't mind it, I love attention in fact. And I don't ALWAYS hate being around others. One of my favorite things to do is to go to a very large, busy club with loud, great music, and go out dancing. I am a horrible dancer, but I love doing it. At these times, the energy of those around me if the music is good can make me almost giddy, though I don't probably show it to others' eyes. I love trying new things, exploring, learning. I don't want to ALWAYS be shut up and away from people. I want to be your friend, I just don't know how. I enjoy being around extroverts. I'm very in control of myself, too in control in fact, and probably the boldness of extroverts draws me, as they are controlling themselves and the world around them. But these extroverts see me as a sad, pitied person, because what I like to do seems horrible to them. I'm writing this so that extroverts, and introverts who don't know that they are normal too, can see that it's not odd, not strange, not sad, not weird. It's just how some people are. Now I just have to keep reminding MYSELF that and not feeling bad at my differences. Are you an introvert? If yes, do you ever feel bad about what makes you happy, and pressure to be more social? What are some ways you force yourself out of your shell, and do you think that you SHOULD even force yourself out? Are you an extrovert? Do you find yourself trying to make introverts conform to your ways?

An Overly Sappy Mother's Day Post About My Mother

2011-05-06T16:58:00.000-07:00

June 2010 at my Sis's House in NH

I was watching Modern Family last night (one of my favorite shows - if you've never seen it, fix that) and it was the mother's day episode, and Jay was crying because his mother is dead (she probably died of old age) and he missed her. It was really sad. It made me think of the time when my mother will be dead, which hopefully won't be for a LONG TIME. But everyone dies, so it drove home how much I should appreciate my loved ones now. My mother lives in NH, where I mostly grew up and left when I graduated highschool at 17. I hate NH, but I like my parents. It's sad that they live there, far away and in a place I don't like to visit, because there are TONS of times when I see things and think how fun it would be for mum and I to do them together. Tons of things here in the SF area. I remember when I was in 3rd grade, and mum and I had a mother/daughter night, because we were living in a hotel at the time, and it was cramped with five of us, and I felt like I didn't get much of her time. We had cauliflower soup at a restaurant inside a department store, me with my blue-ish purple purse. I didn't even like cauliflower at the time, but after that, I always loved that soup, just because it reminded me of that evening. Later on, when we were all settled in our new house in NH, over the years, sometimes she'd let me stay home from school, maybe I was sick, or maybe she gave in to me crying and begging not to be sent to school. Or maybe we were christmas shopping, or it was summer. Mum worked at home, and I loved sitting there with her at home, eating lunch at 1pm while we watched All My Children. Or one time, she let me stay out of school and we went to a craft/antiques shop and had a pastie for lunch in their little restaurant. We were the only ones there! Or lunch another time at this restaurant by the water. Even now, I make sure to email and call her most days to keep in touch. My mother is also my friend. Over the years, I've tried to convince my mother to have as good of a relationship with her own mother, because it's so important to me. Even though we only see each other once or twice a year, or less, she is a big part of my life and always in my thoughts. She's been a huge influence on my life, and I've definitely picked up a lot of her in myself - everyone always says I'm like a mom, and I do her whole over mom, over worrying type thing. What I'd really like to inherit is her beautiful smile. Lately, my mother has been expanding her life - exercising, taking nutrition classes, quilting classes, working on craft projects she loves, and even teaching sewing classes. It's a great example to me, who always feels old & like time's running out, that there's always more to do in life. Happy mother's day to all of you mothers!

at Parents House in NH January 2009

Little me!!

Easter 2010 at my house

2nd or Early 3rd Grade in VT before we Moved

Cause Baby You're a Firework

2011-05-03T11:00:00.000-07:00

I really don't like Katy Perry or her songs, but last month when I went to Palm Springs for White Party (click to see the full blog entry about that), I'll admit, her song did work well with the fireworks display. I hereby give sanction for that song to go along with any fireworks display, because that's all it's good for lol. Sunday was a big tdance outside with rides and a really pretty fireworks display, which i videotaped. I FINALLY got the video up, super late, the other day and I'm FINALLY posting it here so that anyone who enjoys fireworks can watch it. That's the Freemasons djing, and I'm not a fan of them either, but they did an excellent job choreographing the music to the show.

Enjoy!

Bin Laden is Dead, 9/11 Remembrances

2011-05-02T14:53:00.000-07:00

Last night, I was watching tv and scanning twitter on my phone, when I saw the news about Bin Laden dying. This naturally brought me (as well as most people) back to my memories of 9/11, so I thought I'd blog about that today. In September of 2011, I was 22 and working in Boston. I say working, because I wasn't specifically living anywhere at the time. When my lease ran out the month before, I left a week or 2 early, got the money the new roommate paid me for the privledge of moving in earlier, and started to save up for security/deposit on a new place. I stuck the majority of my stuff at my parents place in NH, left my clothes in the trunk of my car, and kind of couch surfed. Since I had quit my second job already, saving wasn't so much an option. September 10th was a Sunday, and like many sundays, one of my two best friends, Marc, and I were hanging out. McDonalds followed by sneaking in (he wasn't 21 yet) free to Jacques Cabaret, where we chain smoked and tried to get people to buy us drinks. We often split our last money here on the super strong $5 drinks. After many shots and drinks, we ended up at Avalon, where a couple further shots ended me up in the bathroom stall, throwing up. I heard someone in the stall next to me, doing the same. Merredith? A familiar voice asked. Yup, it was Marc. This was unfortunately, a pretty normal night for us at the time. We somehow made it home, 'home' being the couch we both were sharing at his apartment, since he'd broken up with his boyfriend who had the bedroom. Back then I was resilient, and I woke up early, quickly dressed, and drove to work in silence, nursing a hangover. Once at work, right after I'd logged on, my still-nauseous self was assaulted by my phone ringing over and over. It was my mother. We're under attack!! Huh? I groggily inquired. Didn't you listen to the news this morning? We're under attack? They've crashed into the world trade center! My mother can tend to get over excited about things, so I really didn't believe her. Except that suddenly, the whole office was buzzing with this news. And the internet was too! My father worked for the department of the defense at the time, and he confirmed it. We were all scared. NYC is so close to boston, and the plane had come from there. They told us to be ready for an attack on our city. Then they let us leave work. A few hours before, all I was thinking about was getting drunk, and how that tranny slash drag performer was so cute it's really sad she isn't a girl and hmm I kinda have a crush on her anyway..and now I was literally scared for my life. My parents wanted me to come home. That was definitely smarter…NH wouldn't be attacked. Marc was still passed out from our night before, and unreachable. But my other best friend Kirthi wanted me to come be with her, and at that point, I always did what she said. So I drove over to her work. Driving was really scary. The US government put out planes and jets flying above us, but they could have been terrorists jets, so all of us were cringing at every moment. This lasted for a long, long time, and actually, I still cringe when I hear jets overhead (which, incidentally, is somehow happening repeatedly now as I write this). She was going to be longer, so I actually went to Burger King and got us food, then waited at her house for her. That day turned out to be ok, but it wasn't the end. What about people I knew finding out that their friends and family in NY and DC were dead or missing? What about people with darker skin, including my friend Kirthi and her parents (Indian) being harrased? What about the fear and distrust? Being around Boston was scary. There were police with machine guns patrolling around. In order to park in a parking garage, you had to show your ID and have your car and trunk searched. This lasted for months, maybe even a year. After 9/11, everything changed. Everyone was really patriotic. Everyone was really scared. Everyone had to carry their ID at all times. Airport security became something totally different. Life went on though, my friends and I went back to our going out, I stopped being nomadic, and after a few years, people stopped being hyper USA. In the meantime, thousands of soldiers have given their lives for us, or sacrificed their time, families or well being. And now Bin Laden is dead, and people are celebrating. What if someone I knew had died in 9/11 or in the war since? I would probably be actively celebrating too. Some people are condemning the celebrants, but I can't. If he had hurt someone I loved, I'd want to see him tortured. But he didn't, he just caused a country changing event, which is enough. We know he did it. There's no need to prove it, it's been proven. So he deserved to die. Will this fix everything? No. But sometimes bad people need to die, so while I'm not out rejoycing, I can't say I'm not glad he's dead.

I tried Bhangra Dance Class

2011-04-27T12:10:00.000-07:00

I bought a coupon for 2 classes at the Dance Brigade at Dance Mission Theater in Mission, and when it came time to take them, I checked out the schedule and found Bhangra classes. Well, it says Bhangra and Bollywood on the schedule, but a woman who works there said it's just Bhangra. I have no idea. Anyway, years ago, one of my friends and I would rent cheap Bollywood videos and watch them at her house, and sometimes try out the dance moves. It always looks SO FUN! Obviously, this would be the one I'd try out. It is super easy to get there - literally right across the street from the Bart Mission 24th station. The first Monday I went, I was intimidated. I got there early, because you can't sign up ahead of time (although they told me they're working on getting that function up online), and plus I just came after work. Before 6:30, they do kids dance classes, so there were lots of people hanging around, to pick up children, or to go to their classes. It just felt loud and scary. When we started, it got better. Our class was in one of the large studios at the back, nice and spacious, with trapeeze swings tied up to the ceiling rafters. The class was big, with a variety of different kinds of people, men, women, different ages and looks. The teacher just went up to the front, put on some music, and without speaking, started doing stretching. We all just did what she did. We did a warm up song, where we just followed her moves. It was fun. All of this without speaking. In the two whole classes, I never caught the instructor's name! After warm up, things got duller, each time, we went through the choreography to a different song routine, without music, over and over, just hearing the teacher mostly saying - 'five, six, se-ven, eight.' We would do it with her a few times, then she'd watch us. She did speak a little, but mostly to count. Over and over. I felt like I was on Fame. Finally, we got to do it to music. Then she split us up, and had each half do it to music a few times. I've noticed how in my paid dance classes, there is such a higher standard than, say, zumba class at my gym. There, everyone is horrible. At these classes, most people are good. And if they aren't, (me), theyre drilled over and over. Our teacher here would just look at us, grimace, sigh, and then show us the wrong way, shake her head, then the right way, and smile. The next part of the class had us line up and, four at a time, do different steps. Somehow, I was bad at this. Lastly, we cooled down in a giant circle. Classes were an hour and a half, so lots of time. I noticed that in comparison to other types of dancing, bhangra is very…sloppy looking. All the movements are very exaggerated, what I would think they'd look like if you were making fun of a dance. The music was a mix of more traditional sounding indian music, and indian hip hop. It's fun. I surprised myself with my ability to remember the routines, and although I couldn’t make my body loose enough to do the movements in as rag-doll of a way as the instructor, it still worked out. This is a pretty athletic type of dancing - it is freezing waiting but once you get into the dance studio, and start moving, it gets super hot very quickly. We were all SWEATING! Some guys were literally dripping! I'll bet if you care about such things, this burns a lot of calories. This studio is famous for its hip hop classes, and walking by their class on the way out, you can tell those classes are harder and more advanced. Other students in my class even remarked on that. But Monday evening bhangra is more of a beginner's class, so don't be afraid to try it out, even if you're like me, and have two left feet!

White Party Palm Springs 2011

2011-04-22T11:30:00.000-07:00

before the white party..

If I don't get this blog out, it's going to be severely old news!! The other weekend I went to my third White Party in Palm Springs. I'd gone last year, and a couple years before that. It's always a really fun time, with tons and tons of people from here in SF going down, plus friends from all over, including my Chicago friends who I don't get to see enough! This year was my first year in the host hotel, the Renaissance. I shared a room with my best friend Tristan, and our friend David from LA. For months, I'd been looking forward to the HEAT, but sadly, mother nature wasn't listening, and there was a very rare cold spell right when I was headed there. When we arrived on Friday afternoon, it was so cold that the pool party had only a couple of people wandering around. We huddled, clothed, by a really cool rock fire they had set up. After a quick gym and some dinner, it was time to get ready for the first party, the Boxers or Briefs Underwear Party. Fortunately, we didn't even have to leave the hotel and walked right down in our underwear. I was wearing boy short VS jammie shorts over my real undies, but they looked pretty underwear-ish, with a sports bra. Hector Fonseca and DJ Theresa djed together the whole nite, it's rare to see two djs so coordinated as they dj, and they looked like they had a lot of fun too! Zoe Badwi performed and did a great job. That first nite was kind of a warm-up, I was tired from packing late the night before and getting up early for the plane. We closed the place out though at 4am! The next morning, I awoke to a migrane. Once in a while I get them, and probably the whole being in a different place triggered it or something, but I ended up skipping the pool party for the day. It was chilly anyway, though not as bad as the day before. So, breakfast, relaxing, dinner, and I recovered in time for the main White Party Saturday night. The Saturday party is held at the Convention Center next door, and everyone is supposed to dress up in white, although there was an added theme of Tron. It's kind of funny to see the mixture of geek and circuit party at the same time lol. I had a cute 2 part outfit - it looked like a white dress for the first part, then went down to an almost bra top with shorts for when the dancing got too hot & intense. I got there in time to hear Djs Dave Aude and Peter Rauhoffer, to see some cirque de soleil performers, and to hear, not see, Robyn perform. I'm short, but I heard she even crowd surfed. I'd like to puzzle over the fact right now that there were a few people I know were at WP, but I never saw them. So many people, it's hard! Closed out Saturday night too, at 4 or 5, I forget, but skipped the extra afterparty. Sunday morning, I woke up happy and sad…fun day ahead, but last day of the festival! First up was the pool party…finally got to put on a bathing suit, it was warm, but not super hot or anything. It wasn't too crowded, but I saw Luciana perform. After brdunch (yes that's breakfast/lunch/dinner) we got ready and went to the Tdance, held outside in the field next door. Somehow, I'm not sure how, we lost time, and arrived pretty late. Oh well. The two best things about this party were the ferris wheel and the fireworks. I love ferris wheels and you get an awesome view!! Freemasons were djing, and they did a great job coordinating the music for a beautiful fireworks display near the end of the night. I have a video which I'll be posting soon. Of course, Katy Perry's Fireworks song was included. During such a display is probably the ONLY time I'd sanction that song lol. Alexis Jordan performed and she's really cute in person! We left around ten to change for my favorite event, closing party, which was back inside the hotel. I think we got there around 11, 11:30, and the party was scheduled to go to 7:30, although it closed early at 7am. Was I there when it closed? Of course I was! Rosabel dj'd the last party and they started off great but tapered off…I had a lot of fun, but it didn't have the same super effect as Tony Moran's closing parties have in the past. It was like a really good club nite, instead of like an amazing Experience. Hey though, a really good club nite is still great! Wynter Gordon performed, I'd seen her before here in SF. That dancefloor was so HOT I could barely breathe! I was sad when it all ended, but the good thing is, we were staying a couple extra days!! By the time I woke on Monday, it was already afternoon, and after lunch, relaxing, and dinner, Tristan and I checked out a casino. There's not much else to do in Palm Springs…the whole city dies at around 8pm. I am not an experienced casino person, but I did lose $20 in the slot machines. I kept switching them up every so often…it was fun! You can't stay there too long though, otherwise you'll accidentally end up with an empty bank account! Tuesday was sunny and hot, just the weather I'd wanted all along. Lunch outside, packing, then reading poolside. I could do that for a while longer, but it was time to go to the airport, where after a short flight, I was back to cold, 50 degree SF weather and back to reality. THANKS to all my old & new friends for a SUPERFUN weekend!! It was great! And if you want to see more pics, go here!

Photos by Merredith Lloyd, Marques Daniels, Richard Henry Thomas, Franko Salvatore and Jason Arca

t-dance!

our classy portapotty t-dance photo!

finally made it to a pool party..

yay and my shirt is OFF!

why on earth didnt i just PUT DOWN THE WATER? lol.

happy times on the dancefloor..

friday night undies party..on way to the bathroom

at the hotel room before the undies party fri nite..going crazy to start dancing!

Tuesday before the flight home..finally relaxing in the hot sun!

I try EBoost Energy/Workout Supplement...

2011-04-21T15:10:00.000-07:00

There are many workout supplements out there, but most of them seem to be geared more towards men. As much as I like to hang out with guys, I'm still just a very tiny female. One day I had an email coupon offer for an energy supplement called eboost. This was a coupon through a site geared towards women, and the price was about half off, $15 for 20 packets, so I decided to try it! I pushed order, and a week later, a box of little pink packets arrived. We had the choice of orange or pink lemonade (there's a couple other flavors too), and I chose pink lemonade, but predictably, it doesn't taste like lemonade. In fact, when I first wrote this blog, I thought the flavor was called pink grapefruit, because it doesn't really taste like anything definitive. It's not bad, just not good. At the end of the work day, right before leaving for my kickboxing and yoga classes, I added a packet to some water, and drank. What would happen?? But first, was was SUPPOSED to happen: this sugar free supplement is supposed to give you energy in the form of endurance and stamina with no harsh crash after, provide immunity against colds, flus and illnesses, provide recovery for hangovers, workouts and jet lag, and give you focus against haziness, fuzziness, blurriness and fogginess. There is no sugar, no artificial colors or flavors, no HFCS, no crystalline fructose, no gluten and no lactose. There are vitamins and minerals, green tea, 5-HTP, stevia and some other random things I don't know what they mean. People like Oprah and some other celebs I don't know who they are and don't care about (not that I care about Oprah) endorse it. 'I'm going to try this, and I'm going to blog it, in case other women (or guys, guys can take it too) are looking for a supplement!' I thought. And so I have. Here's what happened: Immediately after drinking it, I felt a weird shift in my brain. Energy? Nope… My eyes went fuzzy the way they do with too much caffeine (there is none in here), and I couldn't see properly. I could see fine for what I was going to do, but they suggest taking this at work, and I wouldn't be able to see the computer screen with the blurriness. In fact, the whole focus section AGAINST haziness, blurriness, fogginess, was reversed. I became all of those things! LOL. And I was tired. I felt like curling up and falling asleep. Once kickboxing began, I forgot the tiredness. The songs sounded great, but I felt more uncoordinated than normal and got confused during the routines. It went by in a blur. And I SWEATED BUCKETS! Yep, I was soaked. Just after peeing forever. This stuff is a diuretic. After kickboxing, yoga began. I almost fell asleep when we were supposed to be lying with our eyes closed at the beginning and end of class. I definitely couldn't focus on the beginning meditation. After class, I dragged myself to change, and put on my ipod to go home. Once again, the music sounded great! Eboost is supposed to last five hours, but it lasted less. By the time I'd eaten dinner, the effects had mostly worn off, my brain unclouded and I woke up. I'm not sure if my system just overloaded on this stuff because it was the first time, or if it really does manage to do the OPPOSITE of everything it says. Oh ya, and I was fighting a cold/allergies, and instead of giving me immunity, my nose started dripping more! LOL. That could have been a coincidence, who knows. Right about now, I'm debating about trying it again. I'm not sure it's giving me any benefits.. Have you ever tried eboost? What happened?

Kitchen Series: A New Kind of Play, New Kind of Getting Cultured

2011-04-19T12:30:00.000-07:00

After a lot of going out (blog on THAT to follow soon) I needed some culture in my life, so I went with my friends Hoi and Antonio to see Thornton Wilder's play The Skin of our Teeth at the Kitchen Series. The Kitchen Series is put on by Precarious Theatre at Brava Theatre in the Mission. This is their second season, to sold out performances. Each play is a one night only performance - bare bones, and not like other plays I've been to in the past. We arrived at the theatre, and were served soup, sandwiches, and wine. On a side note - I ate some of the YUMMIEST bread on my hummus sandwich! It was studded all over, both sides with large sunflower seeds! Yum! I went back to get more but they were already all snatched up! But I digress… we could eat as much food, wine and water as we wanted, while we got to chat. I was able to meet some of the actors/director. Then we all moved into the actual theatre, where they had set up folding chairs right on the stage. This is a large, pretty theatre with tons of seats in the audience, but we had a more intimate performance this time. The only prop was a campfire in the middle, and the actors sat insterspersed with the audience in our circle. I sat next to Henry/Cain. This is meant to be a casual reading type thing, and they did minimal preparation, so that we could get their fresh perspective. It's so fresh to them, that they even read right from the script. I'll admit to a little over the shoulder reading on my neighbor's script. I can't help it - if you put words near me, I HAVE to read them! The play itself was strange…3 acts, 25 minutes each, about a family where the dad invented the alphabet and times tables back in the ice age, and they move through time. It kind of reminded me of Piers Anthony's Geoodessy series. I thought the acting was excellent, but I was a bit confused as to the content of the play. Either way, something kept me awake, be it the fact that everyone could see me, or maybe things like the apple slices they passed around to munch on as we watched. In the second act, a fortune teller even told me I'd die of cirrhosis of the liver! Maybe because I was on my second small glass of wine? In the end, if you enjoy a different kind of theatre experience, you should check into this series. This was the second to last one of the season - each play runs only one night. There is one left, The Importance of Being Ernest (I saw that movie and liked it), $20 for food, wine, play & fun! Go!

I'm an AUNTIE!

2011-04-18T11:13:00.000-07:00

Almost 28 years ago (in june) my mother was pregnant with my sister. I had a little 2 yr old brother, but he had always gone out of his way to pull my hair or try and hurt me, so I was super excited to have a sister. Beth was late, so my parents decided to have her induced. Back then, we didn't live very far from my grandparents, and my parents left us kids with them. Even though something really important was happening, I still had to go to school. I was sort of glad, because that was the day of our end of the year pool party, but I also didn't want to go because this was more interesting. Still, I remember my nana dressing me in my sundress and we went off to preschool. They filled the parking lot with different wading pools and hoses of running water. I was a bit shy of some of these, because they seemed big, and I hated water. I've always hated getting wet. The day seemed really long…when one of my teachers came outside to tell me I had a phone call. FINALLY! Little 4 1/2 year old merredith came running from that phone call, grinning from ear to ear, skipping and yelling at the top of her lungs "I got what I wanted! I got what I wanted!" My sister Elizabeth was born! She did sometimes prove to be the loving sister I'd been hoping for, while she also went through her mean stages, such as when she organized and orchestrated the 'I hate merredith club,' recruiting my brother to the different meetings which I spyed on, because he was a bit stronger and after all, they needed help to lift that super heavy large rock to drop on top of me. But for most of the time, I've been very glad of that day long ago. And now, years later, I got to work and had an email from my mother saying my sister was going to be induced today and she'd call me. I left my phone for not even five minutes to walk down the hall, and came back to a missed call. They were at the hospital, about to go in, and the baby would be born today or tomorrow. Now came the familiar waiting. This time, it was not waiting for beth, but for beth's daughter Lana. Should she come out a boy though, it was fine with me. I waited the whole day & it wasn't until ten thirtyish, after dinner when i was at home watching tv when I finally got the call. My niece, Lana Jane, was born! April 7th, 1:16AM, 7lbs, 0oz, 19 1/2 inches. In her first photos, she was all bloody and red skinned, but in the photos i've gotten in the week plus since, she's gotten better looking, very sweet, even in the crying photos. i'm interested to see what type of person she'll become!

Wirehead Play

2011-04-06T11:35:00.000-07:00

Last Thursday, I live tweeted SF Playhouse's Wirehead. This was the regional premiere. This time, I brought my friend Antonio with me, and he said he wouldn't be able to tweet through the play like I did. But as usual, I loved tweeting while I watched! This play is in the near future, and there is a new thing out that turns your brain into a computer. Of course, only the really rich people can afford to do this, and it raised tons of questions about how this will affect society. Or even evolution - what about mind control? But there were good things too, such as curing tons of diseases. I loved how while two couples, friends, struggled with this problem, the scenes were connected by a radio show guy, who had callers calling in, introducing other ideas. Those were great segues and kept the whole play moving along. The actors did a wonderful job acting, too. This was by far my favorite play at SF Playhouse so far. It wasn't even like a play, while I was tweeting, someone tweeted in that it sounded more like a Twilight Zone episode. It's true, I could totally see this as a story by Ray Bradbury or someone. Yet, thinking about the future, couldn't this really happen? If everyone else was getting a computer in their head and evolving, wouldn't I want to do it too? Would I risk the 30% fail rate, possible complications, and the very real danger of someone else just yanking a cord out of my brain and killing me? I think I might. I wouldn't want to be left behind. Would you?
Wirehead is playing until April 23rd and I highly recommend that you go see it if you're in the Bay Area!

Results of Almost No Sugar - Will I Go Back or Not?

2011-04-04T11:30:00.000-07:00

Almost 2 months ago, my roomie/best friend decided to give up sugar for two months. Since we share groceries and cook together, and since I don't have a large sweet tooth, I decided to try his experiment, and do an almost no sugar for the same time. I wrote about this, and updated it. For maybe a week and a half out of this whole time, I've had sweetened soymilk, and I've had craisins in my sandwich every week day the whole time. Once I had sweetened hot chocolate, once I had a chocolate spritzer drink. Once I had a sweetened juice. I can't remember the other times during these two months that I've eaten sugar, but I can tell you, there weren't that many more. My friend has a huge sweet tooth and as he'll tell you here and on this update (NSFW) he had a lot of results. But I'm not so sure I did. I did not crave sugar. I didn't need less sleep. I didn't have more energy. After the first week or two, I had a GIANT appetite, but that quickly went back to normal too. Any toning I've done has probably been more of a result of all the exercise I've been doing, rather than the lack of sugar. So, is this a failure? No! I've learned how very much sugar is in random things. Since I'd already given up high fructose corn syrup a year before (for good), the foods I ate didn't have as much sugar as a lot of people's. Things like ketchup or whatever were already organic and sugar free. But there's still more sugar than needed in random things and places. After the experiment ends in a few days, I think I will keep up with being sugar conscious, checking sugar and eating the product without sugar if possible. Some things, such as soy milk and the cream of wheat my roomie makes on the weekends, I've discovered I don't miss the sugar in at all. So why add it back? But not eating sugar does create problems - it's super hard to eat out. I've probably consumed some sugar inadvertently the few times I have eaten out. I like eating at restaurants, so I'm not going to give that up. Also, it's hard to eat dessert. I don't have a giant sweet tooth, and I haven't really missed things, especially since we've managed to find a few sugar free desserts here and there, but especially things like my homemade dessert recipes, I couldn't give all that up! Desserts are back in once this is over. I won't discriminate against sugar free desserts, but sugar ones will always be my favorite. One other problem that I'm finding is that now that my body is used to no sugar, it's going to be hard to have it again. Tristan, my roomie, accidentally bought sugar lemonade. I tried it (he didn't) and although I LOVE lemonade, it tasted like sugar water to me! I brought it to work and everyone drank it in a couple hours, so obviously, it's my taste buds, not the lemonade, that's at fault. My taste for sugar may have been ruined..i hope not! The other last thing concerns my health. I've always been sugar sensitive. When I was younger, and poorer, I would often not eat enough real food. I quickly learned that putting anything sugary into my stomach (koolaid, ice cream) without a solid base of something to cushion it would literally make the world swim, me act totally silly, then pass out cold. My old best friend totally banned me from desserts, tearing frosty drinks from wendys out of my hands, because my weird, erratic behavior on sugar annoyed him so much. I learned to control this, but even now, eating something like candy or ice cream can often leave me with a hangover the next day. I am going to have to reintroduce sugar very slowly into my body, or I'll end up passing out in random places. So, the sugar experiment taught me that not everyone gets visibly or noticeably healthy from giving up sugar (or, I don't..everyone else seems to) but that I should be more mindful of what I eat. Now, who wants dessert?
Update: A couple of days after I wrote this, and later in the day after I posted it, I realized that I actually did lose about 3 pounds. Roomie says that it is probably from the non-sugar. I think it's more likely my more hectic exercise schedule lately with all of these new coupon classes. It could be both. But what good is weight loss, really, when it doesn't give me more energy?

Le Jazz Hot, Baby! I take Jazz Dance Classes...

2011-03-30T12:43:00.000-07:00

Since I was feeling iffy about my ballet abilities, and I still had coupons for 5 more Shoebox Studios classes to go, I decided to try a beginner's jazz class I saw on Thursday nights. I arrived, and found out that it was the VERY FIRST ONE! How lucky! It was actually the instructor's first time teaching there. I was pretty nervous, but Janey, the teacher, put me at ease right away. I don't often immediately like people, but she was so nice and friendly, I liked her. Beginning at the beginning really helped me. I'm pretty sure I might have taken jazz classes when I was around 7 or 8, I remember warming up to the song Jump! For Your Love, and how fun it was, but that's about it as far as jazz skill memories go. Jazz class is an hour and a half, and split up into three parts. The first part was warmup. We did a lot of stretches, some ab work, and working with pointing and flexing our feet. It was in this section I learned something weird…you should try it. Stand up. Go on! Now, stand on your tippy toes. Ok, now close your eyes. If you're like me, it’s a THOUSAND times harder! I'm not sure why needing to see helps me stand on my toes, but it does. Anyway, warm up was always my favorite part. The next part was across the floors. In groups of 1-3, depending on the size of the class, we would have to go across the floor, using new dance moves we'd learn. Stuff like jazz walk was easy, but when it came to turns, I could never do it. I am a DIZZY person! Often, I get dizzy just standing up. Half the time I can't walk straight! But now, we had to turn round and round all the way across the room. Spotting didn't help me. Actually, sometimes I get dizzy just SITTING. So the turning was always a part I kinda dreaded, because no matter what, I'd end up on the side of the room instead of across it, and feeling really faint LOL. Luckily, the teacher and classmates were always patient with me, and didn't make me feel bad, or stupid. That's why I liked this class! The third portion of the class was the choreography song. Using all the things we'd been learning, we did a dance set to a song. The first couple of classes, it was a Michael Jackson song, then Janey switched it to that famous Adele song. I actually surprised myself on this part…we went over each thing step by step, and I thought I'd forget, but once we had the music on and everyone was dancing together, I think I remembered most of it, or the jist of it at least. I took jazz classes for a month and a half and hopefully gained a teency smidgen more of rhythm, which I definitely lack. We danced to a variety of modern songs, instead of old show tunes or weird sax things like I was expecting. The classmates were better than me, but friendly, and the teacher was supernice. Alas, I ran out of groupons and had more I had to use up at other places. Maybe I'll return one day. This is a really friendly studio, where the next class from you might come in to watch, or to have you watch their dance (the bellydance class gave us a demo and it was awesome! SO much better than what I was taking at that other place in mission!). It's only a few blocks from the muni (and from my work) so it's not hard to get to. The one thing is that classes can run kinda late. I only went to the early ones, so I could go after work, and by 8, or a few minutes after, when jazz let out, I was starved. If you're looking for something randomly fun to do, try some dance classes, especially jazz! What kind of dance do YOU do?

Join Me as I Live Tweet the Play Wirehead

2011-03-28T11:30:00.000-07:00

It's time for me to do another live tweet of a play. Yep, I'll be a Playhouse Plugger for SF Playhouse this Thursday, March 31st at 8pm PST. I'll be seeing the Regional Premiere of Wirehead. The synopsis, from the website, sounds pretty intriguing.

Imagine that tomorrow anyone with the money could get a brain implant that automatically makes them a genius. What if you couldn’t afford it and your hated coworker could? The “wireheads” in this play find themselves at odds with the rest of their office as hilarity, mystery, and tragedy ensue, and we try to answer the question: “Just because something can be done, should it be done?”

So don't forget to tune in on my twitter: @merrijane

CoreAlign - A Marvelous Machine that Fixes Your Body!

2011-03-24T15:00:00.000-07:00

CoreAlign is pilates, but not just any pilates. I didn't really know that when I bought a coupon for some classes. I didn't even know that when I actually went to my first class… I went to EHS Pilates studio in the mission. It's only a couple blocks from the 24th St Bart station, so very easy to get to. The people there were friendly. They have one bathroom you can change in, if needed, and some little cubbies within sight of the front desk where you can leave your stuff, or you can bring it upstairs with you. There is a studio downstairs, then upstairs, another studio, which you can walk through to get to the CoreAlign room where I went. Each CoreAlign class is no more than 3 or 4 people. Actually the couple times I went, it was just two people. Semi private class!! I walked into that room and was in for a surprise. No mats here - you have this weird looking machine to use, one per student. My teacher was really patient and attentive. What you're doing with this exercise is just what it says - aligning your core. Using small movements to slide your body and legs back and forth on the machine, you're realigning your whole entire body. It's very hard to explain, so I found a video on youtube to show you. This isn't the studio I went to, but it looks to be the same. For those that can't watch the video, here is a blurb from the website:

The CoreAlign method stimulates the core stability muscles to fire in perfect timing while performing challenging exercises, very deep stretches and core controlled aerobic training. This method is used for musculoskeletal rehabilitation, performance enhancement and as a regular sport for a healthy lifestyle.

"People just can't get enough of the new CoreAlign; designed by Jonathan Hoffman and produced by Balanced Body, The response has been amazing! From someone in the rehabilitation setting all the way to the professional athlete, this machine is changing the way we think about exercise. Talk about functional movement!! After using the CoreAlign, people are feeling the difference and walking out of the studio with better posture and body mechanics."
— Nancy Myers, Owner EHS Pilates, Foot and Gait Therapist, Pilates Instructor

For a whole hour, the teacher showed me and my classmate how to move ourselves in these little movements, which didn't seem like very much exercise. It went really fast, and I didn't have time to get bored, because I had constant attention. At the end of the hour, I walked away feeling GREAT! I was in a super happy mood, and my whole body felt in such alignment as I walked and climbed the hills back home. There's no big moving/jumping, etc, to this, yet it yields the same results! Probably lining up things gets your body transmitting whatever it transmits, more efficently. I was hooked. I looked to see how much these classes are..but alas, they're $30 each class, which I really can't afford. It's totally worth it, given the amount of time you get with the instructor, and the awesome results. If you CAN afford it, DO IT. Sadly, right before I went to take my last class, the studio's schedule changes. Most of their classes are different other pilates or yoga classes, and their previous Monday evening class was perfect for me. But then it changed to some times I would never be able to make. So the last one expired without me getting to take advantage of it. I'm always jealous of people who make their own schedules and work from wherever, whenever, because they get to go to more awesome classes. Even at this steep price, this is something you should try at least once. Have you ever done CoreAlign? What did you think?

Walking City Food

2011-03-23T11:30:00.000-07:00

I mostly grew up in NH, but moved to the Boston area (Waltham, just 20 minutes away) at 17 for college, and to Boston as soon as I graduated, then to San Francisco when I was 27. This means that I've lived my entire adult life in cities, and not only any cities, but some very healthy cities, where people tend to walk or take public transportation everywhere. Two of the most expensive cities in the US (NYC & SF flip flop for #1 & Boston usually sits at #3). I hated NH so much that I've blocked a lot of it out, and so I'm pretty thoroughly indoctrinated into my own way of life. That means I'm spoiled. There are a ton of things that i'm spoiled by, but one giant thing is the food. it is ridiculously easy to get good food in SF (or boston, for that matter). There are a billion restaurants that serve healthy, or sustainable, or local, or organic, or whatever special food. There are grocery stores such as whole foods, trader joe's, and more local healthy stores, there are farmers markets, there are bakeries, there are so many choices. It's pretty easy to eat well. It's only when I travel, or even more frequently, when my roomie travels, that i remember how lucky i am. Other places are lousy with fast food places. 'Restaurants' are a pizza parlor, or something like the super fancy Olive Garden or Applebees or TGI Fridays. Many people don't have access to a real grocery store at all, just convenience stores, or shopping at walmart. Even if they do have a real grocery store, they are filled with packaged junk. In places like these, it's actually a GIGANTIC effort to eat even moderately healthy at all. If they can even afford it. It makes me really sad. I'm definitely going to try to appreciate the good fortune I have of living where i do. One thing I wanted to do was share when I find interesting new healthy products at the grocery store. Here are a couple that I've recently tried... Wholegrain Dark Chocolate Cake Mix by the pure pantry, a local CA company. This is sugar free and gluten free. Since my desserty best friend is doing the sugar free thing, we tried baking this cake mix. It was easy to make, and baked up well. It's dark chocolate, so very rich. It has kind of a snack cake sort of quality, & tasted better the next day, after being refrigerated. The frosting recipe on the side is gross - we tried naturally sweetened raspberry/pomegranate fruit spread instead, which went well with the chocolate taste. I have to say that Tristan liked it more than I did, and we both got kinda bored of it after the second time eating it, but it's worth a tryout. The other thing is Cook! SF's Real Simple Delicious soups. I've tried the zucchini and the carrot ginger. I'm not big on soup, but these are like eating creamy vegetables - so good! They come in fresh bags instead of cans, and are local. Ingredients are whole, fresh with no gluten, dairy, HFCS, or additives. If you don't live in SF, you probably won't find this at your store. Looking at their website, it seems they offer a meal plan that can be delivered to your house. Or you can just be like me, and buy their soup at your Whole Foods. So, is it easy or hard to eat healthily where you live?

Photos by Merredith Lloyd

Coupon Crazy!

2011-03-21T13:34:00.001-07:00

I realized, I've gone coupon crazy! There are SO MANY coupon sites in San Francisco, and I think that they ALL go to my inbox each day. Some of the deals are just out of the way for me, so I don't buy them. Some are for things I don't use, so I don't buy those either. Some of the sites only feature bad restaurants when they have restaurants pop up, so I don't get those either. But that leaves a TON of coupons that I can afford, and I can buy, and do. At some point in time, around when things expire in March and April, I bought too many exercise coupons. I realized that they were all going to be due around the same time, and had to sit down with the schedules for each of the places, and my calendar, and jam pack my afterwork schedule with different classes. Usually, I'll just do one coupon class at a time, combined with my usual gym, but not now. This is leading to some reviews you'll be seeing for some fun classes I've tried, and a tired merri. An example was last week, when I had bollywood/bhangra dance class on Monday, zumba and Bodypump weight class (where I went up in weights!) on Tuesday, kickboxing and yoga on Wednesday, Dailey Method on Thursday, and Pilates mat on Friday. After class on Friday, my pilates instructor pulled me aside to tell me how strong my legs are, and how she can really tell that there's an improvement in my core! That felt really great to hear because I don't see any difference at all, even with my almost no sugar diet, and all the exercising. Time will tell, in a couple weeks, when I have to be in a bathing suit. Anyway, this is just a cautionary tale - coupons are GREAT for trying new things that you might not, or could not afford, but remember that you need time to actually use them! From now on, I'm going to try to space out my purchasing a bit! And in the meantime, be on the lookout for some blogs coming out of all this!

Random Top Knot Bun Memories - Banishing Bad Ghosts

2011-03-14T12:26:00.000-07:00

It's a rainy blah day out today, and since my hair was going to be frizzy anyway, I thought it would be a great day to try out a trending hair style right now - the top knot bun. My hair is just finally getting long enough for this again! But it's funny how random things can bring up random memories to the past. My hairstyle brought me back to middle school. When I was a kid, after we moved to NH, I didn't really have many (any) friends (the very opposite of how I was before NH). What I DID like though was reading. My town had a tiny library, with an even tinier young adults section, and my mother, for a while, tried to preview my books I was reading. So the both of us spent a good amount of time at the library. The librarians were nice, and one of them had a daughter in my grade. Naturally, since my mother knew this girl's mom, she assumed that we should be friends, even though I always told her we weren't. Why do mothers assume that, I don't know. This girl, we'll call her Laren to protect the innocent, didn't really like me. In 5th grade, we were in the same class, and my mother would always talk to Laren like we were friends, and ask her to do things like help me with my bag or whatever when mum dropped me off for something. Laren was polite to an adult, but having this non friendship thing with the outcast girl shoved at her that year did not improve her mood. There were a number of kids who used to tease me during school, but buns always make me think of Laren. By 8th grade, I learned from a magazine how to make a bun & chignon (a braided bun), and I started wearing them most days. I remember around 8th/9th grade, how I used to think either my blue/turquoise shirt, or my flowered, or pink bodysuit thingies, with jeans and a bun were super cute outfits, especially with my new contacts. Other kids did not agree. During 8th grade graduation rehersal, Laren could be seen, imitating my akward marching, with her hair all up in a bun, acting stupid. One glance and I, and everyone else, knew she was making fun of me. However, some kids made sure to point it out to me, repeatedly. I brushed it off, but wearing a bun was never as fun. I think I may have worn it the beginnng of 9th grade too, but since then, whenever I do wear one, it's not often, and I think of her. I resolve to take back my hair style! It looks cute, & is good for when you don't have time to wash your hair, or it's too most outside. The kids who teased me all through school, or just ignored & avoided me, probably don't even remember, it was probably no big deal to them, so it shouldn't linger in my mind the way it does. Writing things like this out should hopefully banish their power. Fortunately, my memories of 8th grade graduation are balanced out by thoughts of my beautiful dress I picked out to wear. Totally not in style, but I loved it!

How can you make your own Larens-of-the-world-proof top knot bun? Spray your hair with a thickener spray, such as bumble & bumble surf spray. In the front, comb an extreme side part in. Make sure your hair has lots of body (which is why a wet day for frizzy hair is perfect!) then put it in a loose pony on top of your head, leaving out the front part. Keeping the hair loose, wrap the pony around itself & secure with pins or elastic. If your hair is smooth, pull little pieces out to make it seem textured. You can iron the front part of your hair if you have time, or just let it hang or pin it to the side. Finish with spray if needed. So easy, it takes less time to do than it did for me to write it.

Give me Colors!

2011-03-10T12:41:00.000-08:00

Lately I've been looking back at photos of me that people have taken when I'm out and around places, and thinking that I look drab. My face looks fadey. It needs some brightening up! So, the other day, I started researching online to update my look. After all, it's spring, and it's time for spring cleaning and all of that. & Over the next few days, I read a ton of sites, but here and here were the most helpful. The most important thing that I learned was that, luckily, color is in this spring/summer for makeup. Just when I felt the need to brighten up, it's in style! For the past few years, I've been a lipgloss kind of girl, rather than a lipstick one, but bright pink and red lipsticks are in right now, so I decided to try it. I really enjoy the look…for just a few dollars, you can add some zest to your whole personality! It's taken a little getting used to, having a pinky mouth…and my lips feel a bit more dry, and I'm always worrying there's lipstick on my teeth, or that it's wearing off or smudging all over. Overall, it's a nice change, and my zumba teacher even danced over to me in class to compliment me on it! The other thing that brightened up my face is a new blush. I've really loved using Fresh blush the past couple years, but I needed something more pigmented, so I'm now using Stila custom color blush which reacts with your pH to make your own personal color. Love. Lastly, there's the eyes. I've always been big on doing my eyes, because I always feel like they're my best feature (big!). I read that green is in, as well as yellow. I'm not sure yellow would match my skin, so I've gotten the green, and a couple other things, to bring more attention to my eyes, even though really, that's what people notice anyway. Of course, most of the time, you don't want to overdo all 3 of those at once… I also got a nice nude lipgloss for when I'm going to go overboard on the eyes. It was really worth it to spend a few hours researching the spring trends (including hair and clothes too), because my outlook feels very refreshed now. The next photos that come back hopefully won't look like I'm blending into the wall. I always feel that way anyway.. Have you ever felt like that? Let's hope that the spring cleaning of my appearance (new makeup, my recent new hair, & a couple new clothes) will bring about a spring cleaning of my outlook!

Is it Justified to Expect People to be Healthy For Other's Sake?

2011-03-09T11:30:00.000-08:00

My parents are not the healthiest people on earth. They don't eat particularly badly, but they never move around anywhere, and over the years, it taken a toll on their overall health. This worries me, and for a long while, I've been pushing the idea that they start exercising. And it's paid off, at least with my mother. She's finally started exercising! When my mother told me this, and when she's been keeping at it for a couple of weeks, I felt really relieved. I like having a mother, and want her here for a good, long time. And I want her to be healthy so she can enjoy herself. She hasn't been able to win over my father yet, though... This got me to thinking though - what responsibility does any person have to stay healthy for the people that care about them? I'm definitely not always healthy, myself - am I being selfish? Should each person do the very most they can to live as long as possible, with as high a quality of life as possible, to keep up with their parents, siblings, nieces, friends and other loved ones? I would say that if you have a child dependent on you, then yes, possibly you DO have that responsibility. But after your children are grown and on their own, what then? Should I expect my parents to put that much effort in, to be there for me? It is helping them, too, after all. What about me, a single woman with no children and no big responsibilities? Living a super perfectly healthy life isn't necessarily the best life, or the most fun. Probably the answer is kind of in the middle. I can't really expect other people to change their whole lives around for me, but I can feel the need to live a moderately healthy life where I am able to be there for others. What do you think? If someone you love was doing/not doing something that was having adverse consequences on their health and lifespan, do you think they owe it to you to fix it? If they wanted to fix it for themselves, maybe they would...so would you try and guilt them into doing it for you? It's rather presumptuous to say that you're just doing it for their own good. But that's just what I've done.

Roast Chicken and Cucumber Water

2011-03-03T11:30:00.000-08:00

Cucumber Water

Sometimes simple recipes are very good recipes. I recently had a couple of good, simple, yummy food experiences, and just wanted to share them with you. Our local whole foods down the street has random friday sales, where they deep discount one thing, for only one friday. The other friday, it was whole chickens. We bought two. Neither of us had ever made a whole chicken. My mother used to all the time. chicken roasts, or tiny fryer chickens to boil and use in things like chicken and rice the saucey kind or sweet n sour chicken. These were definitely roasts. We got them home and i started looking online. All of the roast chicken recipes seemed involved. I'm lazy. I also didn't want to have to buy a billion ingredients, because then that really defeats the purpose of the sale, because i'd end up spending as much or more money in the end. Then I found this recipe. There are almost no ingredients, almost no prep, it's fast (for a roast), it's easy, and how did it taste? YUMMY!! Roomie and i devoured this chicken - no sauce, gravy, or anything needed!
My other simple recipe find began when I went to a local cuban restaurant. Instead of regular water, they served cucumber water. It was delicious! I drank a lot of it (until our half pitcher of sangrias came out, that is). That water stuck in my mind. I started craving it. Then i went to a new pilates class, and they had a pitcher of cucumber water out for us to drink after class! YUMMIES! This cemented my craving and i had to find out how to make this stuff. It's surprisingly easy! The best thing about cucumber water is that it is still water, so you stay hydrated, without a boring taste.

Roast Chicken

My Favorite Simple Roast Chicken by Chef Thomas Keller (epicurious.com)
Preheat the oven to 450 degrees. Rinse and dry the chicken. Make sure your chicken is dry, not damp, or it won't cook well. Salt and pepper inside the cavity, then truss the chicken. Trussing, I found, means tying up the legs, which makes it cook more evenly and the breast be moister. Put sea salt all over the chicken. You should be able to see the salt granules, even after it has cooked. Place the chicken in a saute or roasting pan, and roast for 50-60 minutes. Don't baste it, don't do anything, just leave it in there, leave it alone. When it comes out, add 2 tsp of thyme to the juices in the bottom of the pan, then baste the already cooked chicken with those juices. Let it set for fifteen minutes. And that's it! The skin is crispy and the meat is super tender (I don't eat the skin, but crispy skin lends to better taste inside). Super easy and super yummy.

Cucumber water
This couldn't be easier. Peel a cucumber. Slice it thinly and put the slices into a pitcher. Fill the pitcher with water, cover, and stick in the fridge overnight (or, over day). When it's done, the water will be cucumber flavored, and even have a bit of a weight to it. You can vary this recipe by adding things like a bit of lemon slices, or some mint leaves.

Photos by Merredith Lloyd

I'm going to be a godmother!

2011-03-02T11:30:00.000-08:00

If, by now, you don't know that my sister is having a baby soon and i'm going to be an aunt, then you must be BRAND NEW to my blog, twitter, facebook, etc. My sister's first child, my first niece, is special to me. What could be better, then, when the day after the shower my sister and brother in law got me on skype again, and asked me to be the baby's godmother?! YAY! My own mother's sister, my auntie jane, is my godmother, and auntie jane's daughter, my cousin becky, is my mother's goddaughter. My sister's godmother is my father's oldest sister, my auntie trudy. So i was a little bit hoping that beth would think of me when it came time to decide on who Lana's godmother would be. I knew she has friends, and that her husband Robert has a big family, so I wasn't really expecting that I would get asked, since there were so many other candidates. Especially since they live in NH and I live all the way on the other side of the country in CA. But, they did ask me the question I'd been hoping they'd ask since the moment I found out beth was pregnant, and we all sat there grinning. I think that Beth mentioned that one reason they asked me is because I am not planning on having any children of my own, so I'll definitely be involved in her life. Which is true. As excited as I am about this child, and any future children that my sister or brother may have, I don't want one of my own to keep. Since i've been so excited over this whole thing, I've even made sure to ask myself, am i really sure I don't want to be a mom myself? I've seen parenthood take over and, in my opinion, downgrade, a lot of people's lives, but a lot of parents do well, like my friends with their adorable little boy Jake, and having a child enriches their lives. If I had a kid, I'd want the latter. But in the end, after thinking about it a lot, i still don't want one of my own. I don't want one on a day to day basis, with all that responsibility. I like being an aunt, and a godmother, with somewhat of a responsibility, but in the end, they are their parents children, and not mine. Unfortunately, i'll be having to make a trip out to the place i hate, called NH, for the christening, but at least i'll get to see the baby and my family, and i hope to go when it's hot. I'm very excited about my new role in life!

Johnny Meal Weekend - Happy Pancake Day!

2011-03-01T11:30:00.000-08:00

Johnny Cakes

Kenyon's Grist Mill is in RI and it's been around since 1696 (although the current building is only from 1886), making it the oldest manufacturing business in RI. 1696!! That's one thing I like about new england, everything is so old and historical. My father is from RI, so growing up, we always had Johnny cakes and Johnny pancakes made with Kenyon's corn meal. It's ground between two actual millstones! Every year or so, my mother sends me a box of their corn meal for christmas, and this year she did the same. Since i heard it was pancake week (and in fact today, March 1st, is National Pancake day), and since my roommate, who does not like johnny cakes, was gone, i decided to do a johnny weekend. Saturday morning, i made johnny cakes. Traditional johnny cakes can actually be eaten at dinner as well (although i never have), usually with something saucey. I've always had them for breakfast, and they are very dense. On sunday, i made johnny pancakes. The pancakes have a bunch of added ingredients and are much lighter and fluffier, although you can still taste the cornmeal in them. This is not the yellow cornmeal that you would have in cornbread, so it doesn't have that sort of taste at all. It is white, and ground very finely, almost like flour. They were both delicious!! As a kid, i definitely preferred the cakes over the pancakes, but now I think it's about a tie. Do you want to try them? Of course you do! If you don't live in a place you can get them in the store (which, i suppose, would be most places), you can order the cornmeal online from their website. One box of Johnny cake corn meal is $4.36, or you can buy bigger boxes or a case. They also have some good fritter mix, which makes yummy corn fritters. I suppose you may be able to find a similar product in some random stores too, but it probably won't be as authentically, and historically, ground. Here are the recipes:

Quick as Mix Johnny Cakes (recipe from on the box)
Mix 1 cup corn meal, 1 tsp sugar, 1/2 tsp salt. Add 1 1/2 cups boiling water. Mix well. Batter will be thick. Drop onto a frying pan or griddle. Since they are thick, they take a while to cook on each side, and don't bubble as pancakes do, so watch them! It will be a few minutes on both sides. It's a little hard to get the hang of between burning them, or having a raw inside. Making them small helps. Eat with some maple syrup! You might want to at least double this recipe, as it doesn't make many.

Johnny Cornmeal Pancakes (recipe from my mother, or perhaps, my grandmother?)
Sift (or don't sift, if you don't have a sifter, as I don't) together 1/2 cup flour, 3 tsp baking powder, 1 tsp salt, & 1 Tblsp brown sugar. Add 1 1/2 cups kenyon cornmeal and mix well. Combine 2 beaten eggs, 1 1/2 cups milk, and 4 Tblsp melted fat (which I always take to mean, butter). Add to the dry ingredients. Pour batter onto a hot griddle, and turn only once. Serve with maple syrup!

Photos by Merredith Lloyd

Johnny Cake Breakfast

Johnny Pancake Breakfast

Johnny Pancakes

My sister Beth's Baby Shower!

2011-02-28T11:30:00.000-08:00

Me in CA, My Sister and Cousin in NH

My sister is pregnant and the baby is coming soon, at the beginning of April. Baby coming means baby shower! I am not big on baby showers. Any event where a large group of women gather is scary, and especially if they're all on maternal overdrive, with their hormones revved up about some baby stuff. I'll admit, my baby hormones are a lil revved up this time, but only because this baby has my genes. Normally, a baby is a baby. Just another person, a bit stupider than bigger people. My sister lives in NH so I wasn't going to fly all the way out there for her shower. If I were rich, I may have, if it were not the winter. But i'm not, and it is. Our mother decided to be the one to plan the shower, and she was on it months and months ago. Then she had a good idea, why don't I come by skype? Hmm, I guess. As baby shower plans progressed, it became a brunch, starting at 11am at my sister and brother in law's house. Good idea..only that I live here, 3 hrs difference away. This thing was going to be at 8am on a saturday - yuk! I pointed out that it would do no good for me to sit there watching them eat, and got permission to come at 9 instead. So, i shopped. Baby stores, baby wrapping paper and card (both matching the wild animal theme of the party). I got the books my sister wanted from everyone for the baby (even though she doesn't read herself, i highly approve of her trying to instill a love of reading in my niece at an early age. EXACTLY what i would do!). I read the baby registries, and finally picked out a bathtub holder thing from there. I shipped the gifts I'd picked up here. I pondered over what to wear...something girly... Everything was set. The night before, the power went out in my parents house, right when my mother was going to cook everything, but it came back on late, and she stayed up late cooking, with the help of my aunt and cousin, who stayed over. In the morning, i was so exhausted by the early hour on the weekend, and the rain outside, that i fell back asleep after my alarm went off. OOPS! I ended up being a half hour late to my time, but I guess they were running late too. I ended up wearing a flowery purple shirt which i'd had for years and had never worn once, which ended up being a good choice, as purple seemed to be the color of the day. If you're ever invited to a shower, remember that. Everyone tends to wear purple. A shower over skype, especially when youre skyping with someone with a slow internet connection, is weird. My experience consisted of myself on my bed, watching a room full of women watch my sister unwrap things. Yes, to me, they were things, because I could never tell what they were. the picture was blurry, and time went oddly. One minute, my aunt would be on one side of the room, and the picture would flicker, and she'd be standing next to my sister. My sister was wearing a cardigan, picture flicker, and it was gone. I heard a TON of laughter, giggling, oohing and aahing, so it seems like they had fun. This was the first shower i'd been to that had no men at it (although i did see people like my brother in law, i think his dad, and my dad, walking around in the background) which seemed a bit weird to me. I know it's more of a traditional womany activity, but adding some testosterone helps temper it a bit, and gets you even more gifts. No matter, she got lots of presents anyway! Every once in a while, i'd make out someone saying my name, and i'd wave, or say hi. I did notice when she opened all of my presents. After a while, they finished opening gifts, and i started making my own breakfast, while they took some sort of test. Everyone was bent over pieces of paper and not talking. Or, i don't think they were talking. sound blanked out a lot over skype. After that, they all kinda forgot about me, and wandered around..i tried to get their attention to say i wanted to go, but couldn't, maybe no one could hear the laptop shouting at them LOL. So i closed the window and signed off. It was definitely amusing! I'm So glad i got to be a part of this important day for my sister. Sometimes it is weird being over on the other side of the country from my family. Especially as the baby Lana grows, it will be a bit sad to miss out on normal things like babysitting her, her birthdays, her school functions, etc. I envision that i'll be attending more events via skype, and maybe the connection will be a bit better. I'll definitely be getting her on the camera for some one on one skype time so she knows who her auntie merredith is. The best part about attending by skype was, no travel time, and no helping with the cleanup! If you are someone who likes oohing and aahing over baby showers, check out the whole flickr album. My mother did an awesome job with the decorations, and the food looks good, especially my sister's friend Lisa's cupcakes, and my sister looked radiant. (Photos courtesy of Rebecca Ormonde, Susan Lloyd and Merredith Lloyd)

Happy Mom-To-Be

My sister and cousin

Lots of Presents!

Yummy Food!

Beth Opens a Book I Gave Her

Beth Opens a Baby Bath I Gave Her

Beth Opens a Shirt I Gave Her

Onesies, Shirt & Nursing Cover, all Cute & Wrapped

Beth Opens an Awesome Onesie I found

The Boys Relax while the Women Have the Shower

Life without Glasses

2011-02-23T14:57:00.001-08:00

The other day when it was raining out but not pouring and I had to run to walgreens, I didn’t bring an umbrella, but took my glasses off. I have pretty poor eyesight when I don't wear my contacts or glasses. It's not even perfect WITH them, especially contacts. But off, the world becomes a blurry mass of colors and not completely formed shapes. I was thinking, hmm good thing I don't have to see like this all the time. But hey, what did people do when they DID have to see like that? What about before glasses were invented? People like me would probably just be considered blind, for all intents and purposes, right? What about even farther back in time, when people were in little hunting and gathering tribes, did blind/nearly blind people even survive? Are there blind animals that successfully live in the wild? I wonder. Of course I know, sadly, even now when we have such things as glasses and contacts, not everyone has money or access to get them. Some poor people could make do with glasses from the drugstore that sort of fit them, or old glasses donated. And some just live in a fuzzy world of running together colors. I just can't imagine..

11 Days Less Sugar Update - I'M STARVING!

2011-02-18T12:27:00.000-08:00

This whole week I've been super busy at work, and feeling a bit under the weather, and thus have fallen even more behind on blog posts. I had a spare moment, and wanted to update everyone on the sugar experiment. For background information, read my blog here, and my best friend, who is the one whose experiment it really is's post here. My best friend is also my roommate and we tend to eat most of our meals together, so when he decided to give up sugar for 2 months, I kinda went along for the ride. I didn't really make any promises or huge effort. We started Tuesday of last week (not this Tuesday of this week) (and can I say, he hasn't cheated even once!) and I started out by continuing to eat craisins in my weekday lunch sandwiches and regular soymilk during work. I figured since I'm eating sugar from those 2 sources, and also since I was never a sugar addict like my friend in the first place, I wasn't really going to notice any difference. And it's true, all that first week, everything was normal for me. A little hard for only the facts that it took longer to go grocery shopping and read even more labels (I already read labels since I gave up hfcs & am allergic to some nuts), & it was harder to find something to put on our food at dinner. But while Tristan was going through his sugar withdrawal, I was totally fine. By the weekend, it got even a bit more annoying, since we couldn't order delivery (what delivery food has no sugar), and we often eat out, but now those options are severely limited. Otherwise, felt normal. Monday of this week, I was thinking maybe nothing will happen. I didn’t expect anything to happen. Then by Tuesday & especially by Wednesday, I got HUNGRY. By yesterday, I was RAVENOUS. The whole day. To my thinking, all I was doing was basically cutting out dessert, which due to roomie's sweet tooth, was most nights, but I suppose I'm also cutting out sugar in dinner, and whatever stuff over the weekend I would have had with sugar (I did have half a sugary juicebox). But why am I SO HUNGRY? I'm eating the same breakfast these workdays, the same lunch. But they no longer fill me up. Yesterday, by near the end of the workday, I was so starving I was feeling ill. It was pouring out so I wasn’t about to go searching places to buy a snack, so I ate more cereal/yogurt from breakfast. (don't worry, it is ezekiel 4:9 & plain yogurt - it has no sugar). But what is happening here? Is it the lack of calories that I would have consumed at night, building up on me? Or, am I not really hungry at all, and experiencing sugar cravings, even though I don't particuarly feel like eating anything sweet. I'm never usually a sweet craver. A lot of sugar has always made me pass out. If I don't eat enough non sugar food as a base I really literally just pass right out & have a headache when I wake up. So what could this lack of sugar possibly be doing to me? Has it made my metabolism faster? What is going on? If you have any thoughts, feel free to leave them. I'll update you with further developments as they happen!

Valentine's Day Musings...

2011-02-14T15:30:00.001-08:00

It's valentine's day, so I wanted to write a valentine's day post. But then I realized I have very little to say about it…Yep, I'm single. I've only been coupled for one valentine's day, the other times I've even casually dated anyone, it never overlapped. It seems like a MILLION years ago. I told my boyfriend I didn’t want to make a big deal about it, and he knew that when I said stuff like that, I meant it (if someone says something like that to you, they probably DON’T mean it, so don't use this as a rule of thumb), and he agreed. Fancy places were going to be all extra expensive and crowded, so we ate at an indian food restaurant. I love indian food and dennis wasn't a big fan so I told him we didn’t have to go, but he said sure, so we went. It was good, but cold (no vestibule on the door in February in Boston BRR). And that was that. The most fanciest I've ever celebrated valentine's day is when I was a kid. They always had those parties at school, where we had to give a store valentine to everyone in class, which kinda defeated the purpose. And you have to write each person's name and it lasts forever. But there are cupcakes with candy red hearts on them, which I like. Valentine's day in first grade stands out, because I had the flu, but wanted to go to school anyway. I got as far as hanging up my coat in the coat room, before I threw up all over the floor and was sent back. After school, my teacher brought me all of the valentines that the kids made me, and one she made me. We were pretty close. I kept that little mouse valentine with the note and it's in my closet even now. I remember that my mother used to make her famous special occasion midnite cocoa cake into a heart. Just bake one layer in a square pan, and one in a round, then cut the round in half and paste them on each side to make a heart. They used to have things like you could buy carnations for the people you could like, in middle and maybe high school. I was pretty much an outcast, so the only one I got was from my mother. She didn’t know they weren't going to copy over the message, so I recognized her handwriting. If I'd actually had friends, that may have been embarrasing, but as it was, I appreciated the thought. This year, my only valentines were a note with some candy hearts from my manager at work, and a card with a pair of earrings from my parents. I never doubt that they love me!! So many people have such bad or even just detached relationships with their parents that I always feel super lucky that they love me and think of me as much as they do. So, in most ways, valentine's day ends up just being a day when I wear pink or red, and for the most part, I'm happy I don't have to be one of the people who jump through hoops to make this day romantic and sexi. There's about a 5% part of me that thinks it would be nice to be one of those couples, doing our special lovey coupley things. But 5% isn't bad... So enjoy your pink day!! Happy valentine's day!

Link to A Guy who Really Gave up Sugar Cold Turkey

2011-02-12T13:41:00.000-08:00

My best friend, who I mentioned is a total sugar guy, & is giving up sugar for the next two months as an experiment (nudging me to cut my sugar myself) has written a blog entry about his first few days and what it's been like so far. I thought some of my readers might find it interesting, so I've linked it. Click here for his blog entry: Sugar Intervention.

Baby Shopping

2011-02-11T11:30:00.000-08:00

It's been a while since I've written about my sister's baby. Yes, she's still pregnant. There's an 80something percent chance it's a girl, which I didn't really care either way if it was a boy or a girl anyway. Except I think that a girl is going to be more fun to shop for. I've never been a baby store/baby clothes sort of person. I know some women like to browse that stuff just cuz, but not me. Now that there's a baby on the way, I've been checking out some stores, & that's where I came to the conclusion that girls are more fun to shop for. Little boys like all sorts of cool things. You can get them the dinosaur things, the bug things, the truck things, the building and tool things. There are so many cute things that little boys can have. But little girls like and can have all those same things! I loved all that stuff myself! On top of that though, little girls can have princess outfits and tutus, dolls, cooking & shopping things, all sorts of other fun looking toys & outfits. Most of those are frowned upon as things for little boys. It's kind of a double standard, toy-wise. Little girls can wear any color. They can be tuff or girly. HOWEVER, I remember how much my brother liked playing with dolls, how he loved pink & purple houses, and flowers. If, in the event of the 15-20% chance that that baby comes out a boy, you know I'll be getting my nephew some fun dolls & shopping sets, just like I'll be shipping out some cars & legos to my niece. Either way, I hope this kid doesn't get spoiled!!

My First Kiss Went A Little Like This...what is normal?

2011-02-10T12:23:00.000-08:00

My body pump class recently changed soundtracks, and one of the new songs is My First Kiss. Music and moving around always gets me thinking (well, I'm always thinking anyway), and I got to thinking about how since most of my life I've always been such an outsider, I never really experience the usual 'normal' things in life. It always seems like, on tv, movies, books, and even other people in real life, everyone always has these cutsey first kiss childhood sweetheart kind of things. Followed later by teenaged rights of passage type stories where they lose their virginity, usually again with someone they care about (or the town slut lol). I started out pretty normal…I had my first short term crush in first grade. I dreamed this boy Chad in our class was married to me, and when I woke up, I thought well it's a dream, it must mean it's going to come true (sometimes that happens, and I couldn't clarify the two at that time). So for a day, I had a big crush on this little boy. I let him have the best parts in our playground game (something about a story, on one of the jungle gyms). I was probably obnoxious. But then I realized I didn't really like him that way by the end of the day. LOL. My first longer term crush was that same year, a girl Jessica in the classroom next to us, which was a second grade classroom, so she was OLD and wise. I was so excited she noticed me. I forget what happened…she might have moved away over the summer or I'm not sure. But that's where normal development seemed to end. Over time, my few crushes were definitely not reciprocated. I was such an outsider when I moved in 3rd grade to NH, that I was thrown out of whack, and my first kiss was not until I was 21, at the very end of senior year of college. At my school we had something called Disorientation for seniors. Whereas freshmen went to orientation activities, we went to disorientation ones. The party boat we went on freshman year was repeated as a booze cruise senior year (although I didn’t drink) things like that. I had an apartment on campus in the seniors area, and that area sponsored a sort of block party. Our school was not known for having lots of parties, and I hadn't really been to any college parties that I stayed at for more than 30 min my whole college career. Most of my time was spent studying or working. There was alcohol, but I had only maybe a sip of my friend's drink…this was before I started drinking after college… I was already done with all my classes, finals, papers (I only had 3 classes last semester) and unlike some people who were still trying to finish up, I felt very free. Some random guy I'd never seen (hard, in my small school) actually paid attention to me. He asked me to dance. No one had ever asked me to dance before. I remember grinding with this random guy I didn’t know at this party. I remember dancing to that song Too Close. I remember thinking wow this is what people usually do I'm finally getting to do something I see on tv & etc. My first kiss was at a party at 21 with a guy I didn't know, who I don't now remember his name. It wasn't romantic, I didn’t know if I was doing it right, I didn’t particuarly like this guy, I wasn’t attracted to him, I just liked that someone finally paid attention to me. We ended up leaving and going to his place. From there, I got some more firsts, but no, I did not lose my virginity. He walked me back late that night…I had not had my keys on me because the party was literally in front of my front door. This was before cell phones. I think we left the back door unlocked. I woke up one of my roommates & told her all about it. She thought it was gross that I'd done so much with a stranger. She was proper and chaste with her boyfriend. I never talked to that guy again. My best friend thought it was great that I'd FINALLY gotten that out of the way. One of my other roommates spent the whole next day trying to figure out how I got a hicky. I felt really grown up. Like I'd finally passed a rite of passage. Yet sad. What kind of person has their first kiss so late, and with a stranger at a random party? That first kiss was followed by an unnumbered amount of drunken kisses and more at random clubs over the next couple of years. Hopefully one day there will be a last first kiss that will be more special. But really, does that whole ideal thing really happen? Is it just because I'm outside of normal, or is there really no cutsey romantic first kiss type thing that happens to most people? What about YOUR first kiss? Was it a little like this, or twist?

Taking a Sugar Break

2011-02-07T11:30:00.000-08:00

A few people dislike sweets. A lot of people really LOVE sweets. I'm kind of in the middle. Even as a child, I've never been a fan of most candy. I'm more a fruit or chocolate dessert person. Growing up, I had an average amount of sweets, with my mother/myself/my sister baking us (usually from scratch) desserts usually on a weekend, and a sweet homemade family breakfast once a weekend. I was more prone to snack on something savory. Left to myself, I probably wouldn't eat too many sweets. But, then, there's my best friend. He isn't a candy person either, but he loves sugar. He pretty much has to have something sweet every day, so every couple of nights I'll hear, what's for dessert, do you want cake or brownies? How about pineapple upside down cake? Let's make cake with chocolate sauce! Yes, he gets cranky if he doesn't get his sugar. I'm not saying I'm complaining. When one of us makes those desserts, I'm usually right there with him, eating my fair share. On the weekend mornings, he makes us cream of wheat which has added sugar, brown sugar and fruit, and is really yummy. In the years my best friend has been my roommate, my sweet tooth has been artificially honed and turned up, even in the past year where we both gave up high fructose corn syrup and our sugary desserts &; snacks are now a lot healthier. But now, my best friend has said he wants to do an experiment where for almost 2 months, he gives up sugar. Yikes! So, I'm curious, what will happen? Will he turn into the incredible hulk and become really cranky the whole time? Will he give up? And what about me? In preparation for this experiment, we've been looking at the sugar content in foods we normally eat. It seems like, when we both got rid of high fructose corn syrup, we got rid of mostly anything that had sugar in it. The bread, the ketchup, all of that is sugar free. It's basically weekend breakfast, snacks, & dessert that will be the differences. I'm not going to go out of my way to eat desserts and sugar now that he's not. I'm not going to bake a dessert that's just for me, and anyway, it's mean to have that lying around, tempting him. I'm not going to say I'm definitely giving up sugar altogether though either. This falls right into peeps season, and although I'm not a candy person, peeps are one of my favorite candies. I don't want to miss out on those. Overall, my sugar consumption will probably fall to about 90% of what it is normally. How will this affect me? Will I be less sweet (ie grumpier)? Will I lose weight? Will I get some abs? I'm curious. I have no goals in this whole thing. This is his experiment and I'm just following in the wake of it. It's not possible for me to "cheat." I have no need to lose weight, and it doesn't matter how I look in general because I have no one who cares about that. I just wonder how it will make life at our apartment, and what will happen after the start of april, when this challenge ends. I guess we'll see… I will be reporting back on this..
update: Check out my best friend's blog post about going cold turkey on sugar..just click here!

The First GLBT History Museum in the US Opens - And I was There!

2011-02-04T11:41:00.000-08:00

Last month, the very first GLBT History Museum in all of the US (2nd in the world) opened just a ten minutes walk from my home. I attended the opening and wrote an article about it, which was posted today at outimpact.com. Go here to read my article on their site, & go here to see the flickr album I took of the opening and exhibits.

Snapshot! Random Photos for You

2011-02-04T11:37:00.000-08:00

Here are random snapshot photos from December and January, which didn't fit into any other blogs. Nice, light, Friday viewing...

Tristan and Me at Industry Dec 2010 Ana Paula

Me and Louie at Industry Dec 2010 Ana Paula

Industry Dec 2010 Ana Paula

I found a crown in my cracker! Jan 2011

Me and Antonio at Wet & Wild Jan 2011

Me and Tristan at Poppers January 2011

Me, Tristan and Antonio at Badlands Jan 2011

Me, Tristan & Jay at Badlands Jan 2011

Tristan and Me at Pornstar Jan 2011

Strangling Tristan at Pornstar Jan 2011

Photos by Louie Marco, Richard Henry Thomas, Merredith Lloyd, Marques Daniels & Jason Ladeira

'Like' Me on Facebook

2011-02-03T11:27:00.000-08:00

I started a facebook page a while ago, then never kept up with it. I've recently gotten back with updating it, as well as adding a Tantalizing Tidbits Facebook Like Page thingie on the right side of the blog here. So, if you're on facebook, and you enjoy reading this blog, then go over to the right and 'like' us, or, you can just go to www.facebook.com/tantalizingtidbits. Then tell your friends!

How Often do you Cut your Hair?

2011-02-02T11:30:00.000-08:00

Going out the night of my haircut

On Saturday I finally got my hair cut after not cutting it since August. I've been letting it grow, so I have been trying to not cut it too much, but I do have really thick hair, and a lot of it, so it gets weighed down. As soon as she cut it and layered it a bit, I felt so much better!! But a good hair cut in san francisco is expensive. I thought about it, and people with really short hair, especially guys, have to get their hair cut about once a month or so, and that adds up really quickly. People with short hair can go longer, so even though the price tag might seem higher, it's actually lower, averaged out. But how often is the right frequency? My hair is now just at/over my shoulders. I asked a girl I know who has long hair, how often she cuts it, and she said once a year, or sometimes, twice. I'm curious as to all the people out there with long hair (well, and any other length too), how often do you cut your hair? I'm especially interested in people with thick hair, or a lot of heavy hair. Looking and feeling my hair all nice and cut and layered, I wonder why I let it go so many months (almost half a year!), and get so blah and heavy. I think it's partially laziness and also mostly cheapness, and a bit of ignorance at how often most people do it. My new stylist sent me home with a couple new bumble and bumble products to try, so we'll see how I look! Also, I know money is always a kind of no-no thing to discuss, but if you don't mind, how much do you pay for a haircut? If you do answer, say whether you live in a city or not. My old place was $65/70 I think, and the new place is $80.

Right after I got home from Haircut

Harper Regan Play

2011-02-01T11:30:00.000-08:00

Thursday night I went to see the West Coast premiere of the play Harper Regan at SF Playhouse, and I got to Live Tweet it! The last time I did this was for Coraline a couple months ago, and I loved it, but I had a bit of an annoyance with my cell phone batteries draining from tweeting too much. This time, I thought, I'll bring my LAPTOP! I was already an old pro at this Playhouse Plugger thing, so this time, I didn't bother wondering what to wear, I just wore regular clothes. Once again, I did not prepare enough finding a restaurant to eat dinner at, and ended up at the same boring one I'd been to last time, across the street. Once again, the food was meh. I arrived and saw there were just two other Pluggers tweeting the play. I was smart, and grabbed a water bottle with a cover, instead of a glass of wine that I couldn't finish and might spill, like last time. I even got the latop set up with internet, although my backup plan was to plug the cell phone into the computer and charge it from the computer's batteries. Tweeting from the laptop was EVEN BETTER than the phone. It was easier to type, I could see better what the other tweeters were saying about the play, and I could go on other sites as well during the play. I loved it! It turned out that the night I went, it was still a preview night. The actual opening night was Saturday night, and is now playing until March 5th . Lots of time for you to go and see it! This play is set in England, and one 45 year old woman, Harper Regan, is having a midlife crisis. She hates her job, is having trouble at home, trouble relating to her 17 year old daughter, having money issues, and just feeling old. One major theme throughout the whole play is how people are old and never will have the chance to do this or that, which they always wanted to do. Her dad is very sick in the hospital, and even though her boss won't give her time off to go see him, she leaves anyway, without telling anyone. She's gone for two days, has some adventures, then comes home. I was expecting craziness, from the description, but really, she's not too crazy at all, except for one thing. The pacing of the story is a bit sedate. It's very wordy too. If you like smart plays with a lot of talking, this is for you. I'm more of an action person, so I did get restless in the over 2 hour play. One person did fall asleep. I don't think that's because it's a bad play, just that you have to really be into that type. My favorite thing about it was the sets. They did such a great job of making sets that really looked like where they were, yet held a continuity throughout the play at the same time. They changed sets super fast too! The acting was good, and believable. The play was a bit depressing. Everyone was so over their lives. 45 isn't THAT old that you should feel that you'll never get to do all these things you always wanted to. We have Harper whining about that all the time, and her mother lamenting about how old she is…it suddenly made me feel really young, and not wanting to ever get older. I think if I had been older, I may have identified better with the people in the play. I also totally did not understand the ending. It just..ended. Overall, it was a good, solid play, not exciting, but very smart and thoughtful. Check out what we three Playhouse Pluggers had to say througout the performance, then go check out the play in person!

@scottragle, @wishsison & @merrijane, and go to www.twitter.com/sfplayhouse to see what everyone wrote - it's way too much to copy out here!


Ticket and Program

My first Ballet Class since i was a Kid

2011-01-31T15:14:00.000-08:00

I enjoy dancing a lot, but I'm really bad at it. There was a coupon for Shoebox Studio, a dance and exercise studio just 20 minutes walk from work, so I bought two. Yes, that's six classes. When I got around to using them, I realized that most of the classes I wanted to try were kind of late. They started at 7 or 8, and ended after 8, 9, or even 10. If it were right near my house, then that's one thing, but it kind of makes it inconvenient. My first dance class I ended up trying was ballet, 6-7:15pm on Friday, the perfect time to leave work at 5:30 and run over there. When I got there, signing up was a little confused. This studio has a good sized dancefloor with mirrors and barres, but it lacks any sort of locker room. The only place to change is one bathroom for the entire thing, and the door sticks. I was running late, from the sign up, and accidentally walked in on a girl changing, who hadn't been able to figure out how to lock the door. I managed to lock it, but when I went to walk out to the class, I realized the door was STUCK! I had done TOO good of a job of closing this flukey door. After a couple minutes of shaking the doorknob and pushing on the door, right before I was about to start yelling for help, it opened. Good thing! That would have been SUPER EMBARRASSING to be stuck in the bathroom! Next time I'll change at work. Coming out, all changed, I realized I was wearing workout shorts, and everyone else had yoga pants. Oops. This was supposed to be a drop in ballet class for adult beginners. I'd taken ballet classes as a kid, but I didn't remember much, beyond the positions. I had emailed ahead of time, and they assured me no ballet shoes, leotards, tights, or knowledge were needed. Because of getting stuck in the bathroom, I was the last one in class, except for someone who came in very late later, and I quickly squeezed in at the barre. That was the beginning of my playing catch up. I did ok with the beginning barre work. Not excellent, but we were mostly doing plies in the different positions, and from my other workouts, I was good at squatting and rising to my toes. But then we went to do things in the middle of the room, and it was all downhill from there. The other people seemed to already know how to do things. They caught on very quickly. I was able to mostly do them while following the teacher, but she'd run through routines lightening quick, then expect us to duplicate them on our own, with no one to mimic. I kept forgetting. We had to go across the room in groups of 3, and I had no idea what to do. At one point, she singled me out, since I was doing so horribly, and said what's your name? Do you have a question? No, I replied, I just can't remember what we're supposed to do. She rapidly ran through it again, then had my (at that time 2 person) group go again. I still failed. It was all mush in my head. When I was doing the dance while watching her, it was fun. I guess I just have to tamp down my pride and ignore the stares of the teacher and my classmate and just have fun with it. I guess it doesn't matter if I'm totally lost, while the other people dance these beautiful, graceful dances. It's pretty frustrating though. I wish our teacher would dance WITH us. I wasn't overly impressed with her teaching abilities. I did really enjoy the music, which was not just boring piano music. However, the hour and fifteen minutes crawled. The next few days, my calves were in pain, I guess I got a lot of exercise out of it! As I write this, I'm still debating whether to try again… ballet is fun and beautiful and hard and good exercise. I just hate being the only one with no clue as to what's going on. I wish I could memorize things quickly and didn't have such a spotty memory process. When I took ballet before, the teacher danced with us, just like the zumba teacher and the kickbox teacher and the weight lifting teacher and the yoga teacher do. Participation is key!

Join me as i live tweet another play!

2011-01-26T11:30:00.000-08:00

This Thursday January 27th at 8pm PST, I'll be live tweeting another play, Harper Regan, at SF Playhouse. Last time, I did Coraline, and this time, I get to tweet about a play that's totally unfamiliar to me. This is a West Coast Premiere, and looks very interesting. Check out the description from their website:

On a startlingly bright Autumn night in 2006 Harper Regan walked away from her home and her husband and her daughter and she kept walking. She told nobody that she was going. She told nobody where she was going. She put everything she ever built at risk. For two lost days and nights, until it looked as though her entire life might unravel, she didn't turn back.
From Uxbridge to Stockport to Manchester and back again, Simon Stephens' new play navigates the UK, exploring family, love and delusion; and how to live in a godless universe.

So, if you're around, follow me at @merrijane or follow @sfplayhouse to see what the other Playhouse Pluggers (that's what they call us) are writing. Or, just bookmark it and come back to read it after you've seen the play. I'll blog about it to let you know how it goes.

Impuse Buying, or Planning Ahead?

2011-01-25T11:30:00.000-08:00

Are you an impulse spender or someone who plans ahead? Since I'm always single, I tend to worry about money a lot. No one to fall back upon in a time of emergency. If I think about making a purchase, my first instinct is that I should probably just save the money. Purchases I think about tend to drag on. At the end of summer or early fall, I realized that I'd had my ipod for probably five years. It is likely to break at any moment, and I began to question whether it works as well as it did when new. I use it about every single day, and that's a long time, so it's certainly a worthwhile thing to have, after all those years it pays for itself. But then I was thinking, well, it's not broken yet. And it probably sounds fine. I think it actually was working worse for a bit then fixed itself. I need the money for other things. So I waited. While I waited, I had to buy christmas presents for my family. And for myself - this face scrubber, those special exercise shoes, those clothes. Those online coupons popped up, you have to buy them that day or the deal is gone! Bought. Special christmas, after christmas, clearance end of the season sales, well, those are limited time offers too…bought. Food, meals out, bought. Special face products, bought. New Year's Eve, well it's only once a year..bought. The tv was broken, we had to get a new one. Bought. My sister's having a baby..baby shower presents bought. Even more recently, my friend and I were considering going to White Party in Palm Springs, and saw that the ticket prices were going up the next day. Expensive party, which is going to require airfare and hotel… but the price is going up..got to decide..oops..bought. I am an impulse shopper. Anything that is dangling directly in front of my face with an immediate decision tends to get bought. Anything that I stop to consider, that can be put off, gets put off probably forever, until it becomes a crisis too. Months and months later, I have not bought that $200 something ipod that I would use all the time, but I've spent who knows how many hundreds and hundreds of dollars on a plethora of other things, many of which were probably not as justified, many of which were. One day, I'll be listening to my ipod, and it will stop working. It's bound to happen soon, those things can't last forever. Suddenly, I'll be faced with a world without music. At that time, it'll be a race to the apple store and - bought!

Do you tend to buy things on impulse? I'm not really sure it's a bad thing, do you think it is? Thinking forever on something isn't always the way to go.

I tried Belly Dancing

2011-01-24T11:30:00.000-08:00

Over a year ago, i saw a coupon for belly dancing classes, and thought hmm I could do that. So i bought one and forgot about it. Once I remembered, it was christmas time. A storm foiled my first try to go, so i decided to start at the beginning of the next semester in the new year. Fat Chance Belly dance offers a six week beginner belly dance class. They're drop in $10 each or $50 for 6 classes. My first class was on a friday after work. There had been problems with the other classes of the week, so this was the first beginners class the entire semester, and it was packed. I picked a spot near the back, and our teacher led us through a crash course in basic belly dance techniques. She had a fun style of teaching. She said how, since we're women (this is a women only class), we all have a natural swish in our step, and natural curves. If there's one thing i'm not, it's sexi. I have no sexi in me. Cute, maybe, but sexi no. I have no womanly swishing to my walk, and when we had to do our belly dance movement based on that, I couldn't really do it. Our teacher emphasized that belly dancing is all about celebrating our curves. She said that people imagine they'll get washboard abs, but that you don't, and it's important in belly dancing to let your pooch of your tummy work into the dance. That made me feel self-concious. I do not have curves. I'm a very uncurvy person. Small breasts, small butt, not big hips, and adding to the fact that i have no rhythm, i felt pretty intimidated after the first day of class. There were three other girls who were not curvey in class, one of whom was even less curvey than me, but most of the girls ran from curvey, to VERY curvey. I left the first class hoping that maybe this would be something that could teach me to be more feminine and sexi, but definitely feeling very trepidation about the whole thing. The following week was the second class, and either a bunch of people quit, or they went on a different day, because there were way fewer women. We had a different instructor, who was more serious, but still good. This time, most of the women were already wearing their belly dance clothes. Fat Chance Belly dance has a store attached to it, and the outfits are a little expensive, and not quite to my aesthetic liking. I was thinking something more genie-like would be hotter. Although we were only in the second class, everyone seemed very skilled already. I learned after class that they'd been practicing at home, most had bought the teacher's dvd, and even came in to extra classes. This time, we had to break into groups of 3, and take turns being the leader. The teacher would tell us combination to do, and we had to just do them. I couldn't remember. Whenever it was my turn to lead, i would forget what i was supposed to be doing. even during the whole class, she'd say, do so and so, and i couldnt remember what that was. I was dragging the whole class back, because belly dancing is a dance where you work off of each other. The whole uncurvey not womanly enough thing mixed with my lack of rhythm, plus my inability to remember what things actually were, made the class pretty stressful. Yet, when we did get to dance to the songs, it was fun, despite the fact i had no idea what i was doing. I liked the songs. We even got to dance to one of my favorite songs from back in my earliest club going days, when I went to an international music club Caprice every weekend. At the end, they asked each of us to buy finger cymbals, which we will be required to start using in the 3rd class. They wanted us to practice at home before the next class, even though they hadn't taught us how to use them yet. How would I practice at home? I guess I could, if i had bought the dvd. I decided to just wait and get it the next time. Leaving the second class, i felt nostalgic, for the old club music, and also like maybe i'd bitten off more than i could chew. I wanted to have fun and get some exercise, maybe learn to be more girly in my movements, but i didn't want to become a professional bellydancer or anything. I felt like even on the second class, i was already holding my classmates back, and letting them down. The costumes didn't inspire me to want to wear them, and i felt i did not look like someone who was a bellydancer. Not alternative enough or anything. The studio itself though, is friendly. It's in a kind of weird area of the mission, but easy to get to if you use the bart. There is only one open changing room, which gets pretty cramped when everyone is changing. But there is a cute dog that walks around, nice and friendly, meeting everyone, then wearing a blanket as his cape. In the end, i decided against going back for a third class. If you're looking to seriously learn bellydancing, this place is for you. If you want to just go for fun and forget about it till next time, maybe someplace more casual might work. Have you ever bellydanced? What did you think? If you're curious, check out the photos and videos of the bellydancers at their site http://www.fcbd.com/index.shtml.

I learned to Make Dolmas!

2011-01-21T12:15:00.000-08:00

Last week, I got to go to a greek restaurant and have the chef teach me and my friends how to make greek dolmas. Visit my Tastie Tidbits blog post here to see photos and the recipe!

Recipe: Pear Clafouti: What to Do with your Pears

2011-01-20T15:53:00.000-08:00

Pear Clafouti

We had random fruit in the office around Christmas, and since a lot of people were out, I got to take some of it home. Yay! I'm not so much of a pear fan, but I like round pears. Just not as much the pear shaped pears. I ended up with 3 giant round pears, and looked for a recipe to use them in. I found this one. After I sliced up all of the pears, I realized that the recipe was asking for 3 smaller pears, because there was NO WAY they were all fitting in there, so the rest went for snacks. Pears don't have a strong taste, but I also discovered they taste yummy if you take a piece of bread, coat it with almond butter, put pear pieces on half the bread, add a slice of provolone cheese, fold it over, and microwave. It gets all melty and warm. I've been eating two for lunches the past few days. But back to the recipe - it tastes good, and is a little breakfasty with all of those eggs. But makes a good dessert too, and it's french, so it sounds all fancy This did not make eight servings. Two of us finished it in two days, and the second day, our portions were tiny. I forgot to dust it with the confectioner's sugar, but I feel like it tasted better without it. Enjoy!

Quick Pear Clafouti (Recipe from Suite 101)

Ingredients:

3 eggs
1 cup milk
2 tsp vanilla
2/3 cup all-purpose flour
½ cup granulated sugar
¼ tsp freshly grated nutmeg
Pinch of salt
Unsalted butter to grease baking dish
3 ripe but firm pears, peeled, seeded and chopped
1 Tbsp fresh lemon juice

Directions:
Wash pears, peel, seed and chop. Place in bowl and toss with lemon juice. Preheat oven to 350 degrees.
Crack eggs into a medium bowl. Beat with electric mixer until foamy. Add milk, vanilla, sifted flour, sugar, nutmeg and pinch of salt. Beat again until smooth. Pour batter into buttered 9” ovenproof dish or pie plate. Scatter pear pieces over batter. Place in oven and bake 40-45 minutes. Batter should rise and turn golden when done. Remove clafouti from oven and let stand 10 minutes before serving. Dust with confectioners’ sugar, which is a fine powdery sugar also known as icing or powdered sugar. Makes 8 portions

Before it went in the oven

Photos by Merredith Lloyd

Pilates Again! - Spring Pilates and Yoga Studio in Noe Valley!

2011-01-13T11:30:00.000-08:00

Wow, I started writing this in august and forgot to post it! No time like the present ...It had been over a year since i'd done pilates. I really enjoyed the classes I took at two different studios, but it's just kind of too expensive for me to do on a regular basis..so i was happy when i saw a coupon for pilates, right down the street from my house! i bought it! and now im finally getting around to using it.. Spring Pilates is literally five minutes walk away from my house in Noe Valley.. I started off with a monday evening beginner's mat class with Tingzin. I was late. Rushing over from work, blah blah. We were also having a heat wave. I went in, and found that classes are held in an attic. Even with the fan blowing, it was very hot!! This is not some fancy studio, just one room for mat work, one room for more specialized stuff, and a couple bathrooms. No changing room, and just some cubbies to store your stuff in. The very beginning class was very basic. We did easy versions of different exercises that i do every week in my other (non-pilates) classes at the gym. That made me feel happy that my usual classes i go to are so inter-disciplinary, that i really am getting a good workout at those. The teacher was nice, the class was small, maybe 8 ish students, but we filled up the entire room.. i didnt feel super challenged. Nice to know i wasnt as beginner as i thought! So for the next class, i decided to try the Friday morning pilates mat with props for beginners and intermediate, with Shannon M. There were only five students, and I got a lot of personalized feedback. I really liked the instructor. And it was really fun! We got to do a bunch of different exercises using the big exercise balls (which was actually the first type of pilates I started out with the other year), and with all the bouncing, it was even a little aerobic. I so wish i could go here every week..but sadly, i'm usually at work. I highly recommend this class. All in all, i liked it. I ended up not finishing my coupon, because the classes i wanted were when i was unavailable, and the only class I could make it to seemed a bit easy, but do check this studio out! It looks like they have some different offerings now that I'm posting this, including workshops and even a belly dancing workshop. And, of course, Spring Pilates and Yoga offers yoga as well.

Happy New Year!! How My New Years Eve Went & 2011 Started

2011-01-11T11:30:00.000-08:00

First of 2011, taken minutes after the Countdown! At Colossus

My new year's eve started out with a nice, quiet, productive day at work. I even got out a couple hours early. I took a disco nap, but going out dancing on a Friday after a day of work always makes me tired no matter what. Still, i was in a good mood as a couple friends and i headed to the club, Colossus..we arrived about 3 minutes before midnight, and my best friend ended up spending the countdown in the bathroom while my other friend and i went oh no it's the countdown already! and tried to move away from waiting in front of the bathroom. LOL. I had fun watching some messes dance, & seeing some friends, even though it was freezing cold, next time I go there, i know to just keep my coat on the way a couple other people did. The next couple days were a very good start to the new year. Lots of relaxing. I LOVE just lying around the house, doing nothing, watching tv and movies, reading...Since it was such a long weekend, by sunday afternoon, i was ready to go out dancing again. I wasn't expecting anything of Mass Tdance one way or the other, and was so pleasantly surprised when I arrived at 1015 folsom to find it packed - just the right amount of packed. Tons of people i knew were there, and the soundsystem and lights were so great, the way they always were. I had so much fun, at a night I hadn't even been planning on going to! Partywise, i think the best combination would have been DJ Joe G from friday night playing at the 1015 venue with its great soundsystem, because i couldn't hear him as well as I liked, but Phil B did a great job keeping the crowd happy sunday too. Since it was a t dance, i was home by midnite, and spent my last nite of the long weekend relaxing (& online shopping lol). I had monday off for my floating holiday, and i had dim sum, which i love, and had not had for a while - YUM! Overall, I was in a great mood the entire weekend, although i turned a lil melancholy/depressedy on Monday. It was still a pretty good beginning to a new year! I hope yours was too!

Photos by Marques Daniels, Randy Moore and Louie Marco

Mass T Dance

Mass TDance

Bye 2010, Welcome 2011, or, Being Good for Good's Sake

2011-01-10T11:30:00.000-08:00

Stay tuned for my blog about my new year's weekend, which was fun, so here is one about the year in general, and next year. Coming off of a very bleh 2009, 2010 was pretty good. I traveled more in 2010 then I think I had any other year in my life. I went to San Diego, then Palm Springs, then to New England, then to San Diego again. Four trips in one year! My parents even visited me in there for easter. I found out that I'm going to be an aunt. I tried lots of new exercises and classes and things. I went out to lots of clubs and heard/danced to some good (and some not so good) music. I read TONS of books. I launched a new restaurant blog, Tastie Tidbits. I worked on fixing up my apartment a bit, and myself. I gave up high fructose corn syrup & have been eating more organic. But what next? It's a whole new year! At the beginning of the year, i was disillusioned with people. For over two days, i was sad, and stymied over what I should do for the new year, what resolutions should i make? I felt like i should make something big. Other people were getting me down. I had made a resolution at my birthday to seriously try dating in the new year, but when i looked at couples and their togetherness, i really didnt want that. Even large groups of friends, being social and stuff, didnt look fun. I had a choice - let all of these people turn me as bitter and self-serving as they can be, and thus make them right about me, or just be good for good's sake. I thought and thought. I wanted to write, but I couldn't settle my thoughts. Finally, i came to a conclusion. It's letting other people win to be the way they think I am, so I will be myself, and good inside, just for good's sake. I want to want the company of other people. I'm not really there yet, but my resolution is to work towards it. My resolution is to ensure that i don't become as jaded as others are. My best friend made a resolution to make everything negative positive, and said I should too, since everyone says we're twins, but I won't go THAT far. I'm not saying i want to be naive or a pushover, I don't. But I am going to try to work to keep myself me inside. Besides that major resolution, I'm going to keep trying new things, new classes, etc, even when they make me feel a little anxious, because I love trying new things. I'm going to work on my apartment, so it looks more like a home for grownups, and less like a dorm. I'm going to keep putting effort into my blogs. I'm going to continue to live to have fun - lots of exercise, good food, great books, good tv shows, lazing around my house, great music, going out dancing, all of my favorite things. I often just feel like giving up and becoming the person that people assume I am, but i resolve to not let it matter what other people think, and just be me. 2011 should be interesting, because I have absolutely no plans or expectations for it, so anything can happen...I wonder what will!!

Just a LITTLE Bit Left Over..

2010-12-30T11:30:00.000-08:00

I have a weird quirk, that I didn't so much notice in myself until pretty recently. It was my best friend who noticed it, and teased me about it for a long while, before I paid attention to what he was saying, and what I was doing. I have a weird habit of usually not finishing anything. What if I am sharing an appetizer with one or more people? I will not take the last bite. I'll either leave it there, or take a piece of the last piece, so that there is another piece there. That might not even be SO weird, but it happens when I'm eating or drinking alone too! I was reminded of it again, as I was rinsing out the last bit of my mango boba drink so I could recycle the cup. Why couldn't I have just finished the last few sips? It's not like they taste any differently. Unless I am VERY hungry or LOVE what I'm eating/drinking (and sometimes even then!), I will leave a few bites or a few sips on the plate, bowl or in the cup. I will leave a couple of whatever's in the package. A little of this in the bottle. A little of that in that bag. Some more food in that drawer. I can't finish it! But WHY do I do this? It's not even like I'm doing it on purpose. I usually don't even notice it, even now that I have finally realized I'm doing it, at the time, I forget and just do it subconsciously. To me, it feels like I'm getting full, and I don’t want any more. But odds are, that I can't just about always have just a little bit too much to eat or drink above what I'm hungry for. I wonder what is going on in my head? It's funny that I'm so weird, not only can other people not understand what I'm thinking, but even I can't understand what I'm thinking. Does anyone else do this?

Christmas 2010

2010-12-28T12:08:00.000-08:00

Me on Xmas Afternoon with my Presents

If you've been reading my blog for a while, you'll know each year, I say how I'm not big on christmas. When I was younger, I LOVED it. It was the highlight of the year, well, that and summer vacation. Somewhere around the time I became an "adult," christmas got yucky. Maybe because it used to be SO great before, that it can never live up to that. Or maybe just because santa stopped coming, because I guess I wasn’t good anymore. LOL. For pre-christmas, I had a couple of things - a gloss holiday party at trigger, where I got a gift bag. The black xxxmas dance party with DJ Abel, where it was soo crowded I felt claustrophobic and left (usually it's fun). Irvin's holiday dessert party, where I had yummy lemon ginger bars. My work holiday party, where we got a free tasty lunch at the very top of a hotel downtown. On christmas eve, it was pretty dead at work. I got out of work early at 3, and since the gym closed early, went straight home. Just 2 1/2 hrs early, with no gym, frees up SO MUCH TIME! Last minute grocery shopping, some video games, a movie, opening some homemade christmas goodies from my mother…a good start to the long weekend. For some reason I was exhausted and fell asleep by 10:30, which I never do. I fell asleep without making my apple cranberry jelly for christmas dinner, and had to wake up on Saturday morning to do it, and it never jelled right, boo. Saturday afternoon, I got on google video chat with my family in NH. My parents, sister, brother in law, brother (who flew there from LA), aunt and nana were all at my parents house. Apparently, they had an 8am breakfast (what?! Why?) and were already done with dinner by 2pm or something, and were chomping at the bit to open presents with me. It was a little disconcerting to see all of those faces staring at me over my laptop. But its fun that technology let us, for the first time since I moved to San Francisco, open presents together. I got some nice things. My mother baked me christmas cookies, and made me homemade apple jelly, apple butter and peach butter. She also knit me a pair of socks - the first ones she ever made! I love homemade stuff! I got everything I'd asked for - socks, new gym clothes, a beautiful casserole dish from etsy, and flexible cupcake liners like the ones that Mary had, so I wont need to keep buying paper cupcake liners. Along with some extras like a cake decorating set from my sister and brother in law and a gift card to a local tea place from my brother. After presents, I hurried over to my friend Locoya's house for a christmas potluck dinner, which was tasty. Lots of weird conversations, but at least I got confirmation that my new victoria's secret bra is cute lol. For the rest of the weekend, I just relaxed. Read, watched tv, movies, stayed in my jammies… I had Monday off for my floating holiday, and by the late afternoon, I was feeling restless, so I took a walk. Just randomly turning here and there..till I came to Mission street. Oh, I'd better turn home, I thought. I consulted a map, and took off down the street. Wow, I thought, a while later, I really managed to walk far. It's taking forever to get close to home. I walked, and walked, and walked. It was kind of ghetto-y and weird, and dark. I kept checking the map and I kept not being any closer. Finally, I came across the city line. Yes, I walked to Daly City. Oops. Oh no!! There were no cabs. I didn’t want to look lost. I finally thought well I must have passed it. I can't go any farther this way…So I found a bus, and got on. Half an hour bus ride later, I realized that I had been walking the wrong direction THE WHOLE TIME! I really can't read maps. My hour-ish walk turned into 3 1/2 hrs, but I finally made it home safe, and the end of my relaxing 3 day plus 2 1/2 hr long weekend ended on a not-so-relaxing note. So, that was my christmas. How was yours?

Photos by Merredith Lloyd, Marques Daniels, Jim & Susan Lloyd, Beth Vanderhoek - For More Christmas Photos, GO HERE!

Me, Tristan and Rameses at the Gloss Holiday Party

Downtown Christmas Lights

Me with Coworkers at the Work Christmas Lunch

Sugar Palace

Homemade Socks!

The Presents - Opened!

Christmas Presents BEFORE the Opening

Robert and Beth, in NH & on my Laptop

Nana, in NH & on my Laptop

Doug, in NH & on my Laptop

Mum, in NH & on my Laptop

House Parties

2010-12-22T11:30:00.000-08:00

House parties are kind of like bars to me. I've often stated that I dislike bars. At my recent speed dating, one of my dates and I were even discussing how in a bar (which we were technically in), I wouldn’t just go up to random people I don't know and start talking to them. But if they spoke with me, I would talk to them. Well, it's the same at a house party. At a house party, the whole purpose is for everyone to walk and stand around, and talk to people. Somehow, they just end up in a cluster, and somehow start a conversation, and keep up that same conversation. They talk about the requisite nothingness, and have the requisite fake laughing, etc. I've never been able to master it. At all. I don't really think I WANT to master it. Even when I was a kid, and we had to go to cookouts at people's house or something, I hated it. I even told my mother that her fake laughing annoyed me. I took after my father, who was less friendly. The one difference would be if I were at a house party where I knew everyone. Or most people. Then it's just hanging out with friends. In a place that's mostly, or especially all, strangers, I clam up. I don't know them. I don't have anything really to say to them. This is probably why I don't get invited to a lot of parties, and why I'm RELIEVED that I don’t get invited to a lot of parties. In fact, if you invite me to your party, and you, the host, are the only one there I know, I will probably have to decline. Hosts are always busy running around being hostly. As they should be. But then I'm left all awash in a sea of empty faces. If I can come with a couple of friends, or meet up with some people I know, I'm usually ok, although often a bit bored, the same as at a bar. I'd rather just hang out at a house or club or restaurant, where we can talk WHILE. That's while watching tv, while browsing online, while eating, while dancing. Just WHILE. I have a short attention span, I need a lot going on! Recently, I went to a house party, where I was happy and flattered to be invited, but felt very anxious about going all the same. I went alone. When I got there, I knew no one except the host, who was of course, hosting about. I considered leaving. Just then, some people I knew arrived! Hooray! I got to spend the evening out of the way, on the sofa, watching people go by, and once in a while quietly chatting with some people I knew, though not super well yet. Parties will never be something I really look forward to though. If I go, I go to challenge myself. I'm such an introvert.

Speed Dating!

2010-12-21T11:30:00.001-08:00

Me, Leaving for Speed Dating

I like dramatic dating shows. Not dumb sappy stuff like bachelor, but off the wall stuff like vh1 and mtv, or the old dating shows that used to come on late at night. I also like millionaire matchmaker. I don't really date in real life, so it's kinda funny that i like these shows. One day, i got a coupon offer in my email for SpeedLA dating, a speed dating company in LA that has just branched over to San Francisco, and is run by British people. It's even been on reality shows, it says. Well, if you've watched any reality tv, you know that british people can get things done so this whole thing appealed to my tv land sensibilities. I bought the coupon. I have a friend who likes to date a lot, and I got her to buy one too. Unfortunately, the day of our speed dating session kept getting changed around by the planners, and she was unable to come with me. Right off the bat, let me tell you, i was NOT expecting to 'meet my match' or find the love of my life or any such thing. This was strictly for weirdness value only. I actually went earlier tonite, as I wrote this. Earlier today, i was wishing that i could go to the gym and workout instead of dating. But i was tired of rearranging days to go, so i skipped the gym and got a burrito to go, & set off home to get ready. Incidentally, at the burrito shop, there was a cute girl working there who talked to me & complimented my new coat. As I walked home, i contemplated whether she was straight or not, then laughed at how ridiculous it was that i was off to speed dating. Hmm, what to wear?? My friend told me that when she went, the girls wore sweater dresses, which are evidently the uniform of the fashionable SF woman. I didnt really have that, & it was raining, so i settled on my usual jeans, with a cute top, then girlied it up with some heeled boots & a clutch. Clutches are dumb. I could have fit all that stuff in my pockets, & now i had to hold something, because there's no strap. Heels on steep hills are also dumb. But, i think i looked like i could pass for a 'real girl' & a 'straight girl' as well. I was first there! We got free makeovers, but the makeover girl told me i barely needed anything because i'm so great at putting on my makeup. And by the way, she loved my new coat. The organizer did NOT look like a nanny, she had no scarf around her neck, which was un-reality-show-like, but she DID have a great british accent & was very friendly. she put me in the back room at the bar, which was right around the corner from my house (Bliss Bar). I waited. and waited. Cute venue. There were little conversation starter cards at the tables, which i read. But no one to converse with. There was horrible jazz playing loudly, grating on my ears. I started singing house music to myself. At 8:15, after i got there at 7:30 like recommended to get made over for the 8pm start, the planner said we'd probably start in 15 more minutes & i could wait in the front room where there were more people. there were people at the bar, but i knew no one & the music was killing me & i gave up & started playing games on my phone. FINALLY it was 8:30 & the planner said i could go back again, but there were only 5 men. did i want to leave & do it another nite or just do it tonite? TONITE. I'd been waiting FOREVER i wanted to get it over with. I went to the back room, along with 6 other girls. Most were pretty cute. One, i'd noticed at the front, was really hot. Wearing a really hot dress, long legs, heels... her friend wore a skirt. All the other girls wore jeans like me (yah!). I TOTALLY wanted to write down the hot girl on my score card. LOL. but wait, im at a straight event. The other girls chit chatted, laughing about some guy saying something about his (female) friend who'd wanted to come to meet girls. Um, we're here to meet GUYS!! they all sneered. I laughed inside. The planner came in. The men are coming in now... and four guys filed in (i guess one left)? So four guys, seven girls. I had to wait while the guys talked to the first girls. Finally, one came up to me. He seemed nice. If i were looking for a long term relationship with a guy, i would have written him down. He wasnt very hot. He wasnt totally ugly, but in NO way hot. 5 minutes is fast. there's barely enough time to talk. The 2nd guy was a absolute nerd, and old looking. The third guy was the guy you'd pick if you wanted someone trendy. Young, smooth talking, good looking. The fourth guy was again, a total nerd & socially awkward (yes coming from ME lol). I would say that no one picked guys 2 and 4. How did i do? Did i convince them i wanted to date them? Hmm... one guy asked me what shows i liked, and said, i bet i know - grey's anatomy. EWWW. no? House! ewww. no? criminal something or other i dont know. umm. no. finally he said well i guess you dont like chick tv shows. Oops. showing my ungirliness...i quickly thought of one of the girliest shows i like - well, i like america's next top model! (save!!). After waiting for over an hour, it was over in 20 minutes. No snacks, no frills. The host said ok, if you felt badly about this session you can get a free one, for some reason, no guys came. No, that's ok, i said. I didn't tell her that i really only wanted to do this once. She told me to rate the guys, and write who i'd want to date & ps she liked my coat (it said top 5 guys, LOL we only had 4 to choose from). I put the slick guy. i kinda wanted to see if he would choose me back. The 2 nerdy guys were just too nerdy to put down. The other guy was a nice date guy, and i'm not looking to date guys. So i put down the slick guy. I liked him, he was cute, and, if all else fails, i could probably spend an interesting evening with him. Now, if i were him, i'd have written down the hot girl. Now, you probably all already realize, that it was kind of silly for me to go to a straight speed dating event. In fact, i'd already promised myself & my friends that for the new year, i'd join an online dating site seriously, & look for serious dates I could actually date - aka a female. The speed dating thing was the last fake straight thing i was allowed. It's not really mean. NO ONE goes to speed dating with the intention of finding the love of their lives. its SPEED DATING! you cant really tell anything in 5 minutes. those genuine straight girls probably never meant anything serious about it either. i never did, or will, tell any of those guys that i was looking for a relationship. i told them it was because of a coupon. i don't think i'll ever be doing any more speed dating events, for guys or for girls. but it's definitely an interesting activity that most people should try - it's good for a laugh! and i dont think this was a typical night, it was raining, more guys generally show up, so dont blame this dating company. the only one question is - what should i do if that guy wrote me down? Should i go on the date? should i tell him i'm just in it for sex? (sex from anyone, at all, is better than nothing!!). Should i just tell him sorry i was doing it for a joke, it was nice meeting you but i can't go on a date with you? Maybe i didnt fool him and he won't even contact me. what would you do? do you ever try to date people you know that you won't work with, just for no reason? do you get frustrated like i do about meeting the right girl (guy)? do you think it's wrong to go to straight speed dating when you're not really romantically attracted to men? and have you/would you ever go to speed dating of any type?

Back Room of Bliss Bar in Noe Valley where the Dating Happened

Coraline

2010-12-20T11:33:00.000-08:00

Playbill and Ticket

I'd already told you that I got asked to be a Playhouse Plugger and live tweet plays, starting with Coraline. Maybe you were wondering how it went? It was great. The Thursday before last, I was a little nervous all day. Was I dressed up enough? Would I make it in time? Would my phone die part way through the play? (phones these days don't have a ton of battery life..). When i left work, there was not enough time to go home first, so i decided to do what i always feel kinda loserish doing, eat dinner by myself. i ate right across the street, because i was worried about being late. actually i was a half hour early. i am a naturally late person, so when i REALLY try to be on time, i end up being way early. or sometimes i STILL end up being late. lol. watching the people come in, i realized i did not have to worry about my outfit. i always forget, it's San Francisco. People hardly ever dress nicely, even to a play. anyways, Dan, who runs the twitter program, met with me and the other tweeters, and was super nice, and got us each a free wine, and soon we were in our seats, ready to go. if i get to do it again, i'll definitely skip the wine. i'm not a wine fan, and i had to stick the almost full glass under my seat in case it spilled. the theatre was a nice size. small enough to be intimate, but large enough to not feel amateurish. there are apparently a couple other theaters in the very same building. We pluggers were seated in the back row, so that the glow of our phones & tweeting instruments didn't bother the rest of the audience. Then i started tweeting:
I'm live Tweeting from coraline @sfplayhouse till 930pst,.my 1st live tweet!
So far they've been super nice and I even have a free glass of wine. Seated, waiting for it 2 begin.
The house is full and we re about to start!
Ug I wish I didn't take the wine I.can't finish it and its gonna spill
Coraline is a musical and has a British accent
2 diff girls play coraline. I'm glad tonites coraline is a kid. I think the other is in hs. She's doing great.
And the cat is played by an actual person. He's not a furry he's wearing people clothes.

It was around 20 minutes in, when i realized, oh no. my phone was losing battery, and fast! i was down to less than half! this was a 90 minute play! i stopped tweeting as much, to save battery life. i realized that if i tweeted less often, the phone gained back some of its life, and didn't die so quickly. Continued tweeting:

Do kids really get that excited about gloves?
There is no character of the little boy in this version. I hope my phone doesn't die.
I still don't think this other mother is as creepy as teri hatchett Susan delfino
Other mother is a gambling addict lol
Ooh the other mothers hand looks like a giant spider now. The.little girl & cat are awesome actors
Other mother takes too long to die/fall lol this has been a great play great use of stage & props
The ending song is creepy...nightmarey
I just wanna say I loved tweeting during a play perfect for my attention span thanks @sfplayhouse!

I would have loved to have tweeted more frequently...if only there was a plug socket, and i could just plug in my phone and tweet to my heart's content! I LOVED tweeting during a play. It totally kept my attention better than just sitting there, only focusing on the play with nothing else to do. I didn't fiddle so much, and i didnt fall asleep. i wish i could always do this for plays. The girl sitting next to me felt the opposite. she tweeted:

@aliciadattner Feeling the experience of being at the theatre adulterated by Tweets. Less interested in the show bc I'm paying less attention?

It's interesting how other people are able to focus on one thing at a time. Doing a few things at once is the ONLY way to ensure that my mind doesn't totally wander or shut off.
Anyway, the play, i really enjoyed it. Even though i'd seen the movie twice, the play was slightly different. I think that i missed having the neighbor friend boy in there, but if i hadn't had seen the movie, i would never have noticed the difference. As I also mentioned above, the girl who played coraline did an excellent job. She played Coraline as slightly bratty and precocious, and she reminded me of my cousin at the same age. I got to see her as I was leaving and told her that she did very well. I even saw her real life grandmother lol. The cat was played by a real guy, and he did well too. Very catty. I liked how he wasn't dressed as a furry, but was able to look so catlike anyway. The other actors did well, but nothing phenomenal. Nothing stand out ish. This play is well worth going to see, and will be at the SF Playhouse through January 15th, so you still have time to go! Hopefully, I'll be live tweeting more of their plays, and will be reporting on those as well. Maybe i'll try bringing my laptop to have more battery life. Hmm..
Photos by Merredith Lloyd

Sign outside the Theatre

Leaving the Restaurant to Head to the Play!

Follow Up: What about Gay Acting Straight People?

2010-12-10T11:51:00.000-08:00

In a followup to the last blog post, I found this article about "gay-acting" straight people. Just because they "act gay" does that make them gay, even though they are attracted to the opposite sex? Should these straight people start acting more "straight" now as well? Maybe they are just being themselves and not acting either. Just as the "straight acting" gay people aren't acting. Is there a difference between keeping a gay person who wants to express his or her sexual preference by being themselves, which happens to be campy gay, in the closet, and between making these straight men and women who happen to express themselves in traditionally "gay campy" ways, act more traditionally straight? Isn't it the same thing? Isn't that gay guy adding some 'gurl's to his vocabulary when it doesn't come naturally, or that gay girl chopping off her hair and wiping her face clean when she doesn’t want to, both so they can fit in and be gay enough, the same thing as well? Who you want to sleep with, who you get a crush on, shouldn't have to be related to how you dress, act and talk.

So-Called Straight Acting Gay/Lesbians are Not a Threat to Gayness, Quite the Opposite!

2010-12-09T13:38:00.001-08:00

The other day a friend posted up an article (sorry I don't have it here to link to) about how "straight acting" gay people are making gay camp dissapear. Gay camp was defined by them as most of the stereotypical gayness that you would think of when you hear the term homosexual. This article kind of annoyed me a bit and made me want to write a blog about something I'd been thinking about writing a blog about for a while. Before I begin, I want to preface what I have to say by noting that all over the world, every day, thousands or hundreds of thousands of gay men and lesbians are being teased, bullied, tortured, arrested, maimed, killed, discriminated against, etc, for being too 'gay' especially that 'camp' factor. It is a big problem and quite obviously unacceptable. I'm not disputing that. Why would I? But, I also think there is another type of discrimination that goes on in the gay and lesbian community. It has to do with the words "straight acting." There are bunches of men and women who happen to be attracted to members of their own gender, and they walk around, acting and living like themselves, but happen to be called "straight acting" just because they don't conform to the whole concept of campiness and gayness. Just the whole term "straight acting" implies that homosexual people can only act one way and straight people can only act another way. It's very dividing and discriminatory. Sometimes, it seems to me, that there is a slight, or not so slight, push to be gay enough. Talk like this, not that. Wear this, not that. Obviously I'm not a man, so I don't have a first hand view of that side of things. But on the female side, the few times I've tried to break into the lesbian community, that's what I've found. I don't even identify that way because of it. You know how people are all inspired every time a high profile person comes out? To me, it's all good and fine when someone comes out who everyone sorta already knows is gay or lesbian. But what gives me hope is everytime I see someone who doesn't conform to the stereotypes come out. A few weeks ago, I saw the movie The Joneses (pretty interesting movie) and the fake daughter on there was cute. The other day, I noticed that she has come out as a lesbian. In her photos, she doesn't fit a lesbian stereotype. This really made me feel a lot better about myself. I understand that it's important to have people come out who fit those stereotypes, because there are perhaps a majority of men and women who fit them themselves. But for those of us who don't fit the stereotypes, we want someone to look up to as well. We don't want to feel pressured to become what we're not. Just because I like girls, I don't want to stop wearing makeup, I'm not attracted to butch women who look like men or are andro. I just want to be myself. And I don't want to be termed negatively by my own supposed community for doing that. People assume I'm straight…all except the straight guys, and some straight girls. Why, is it because I’m acting that way and my acting fails with some people? No, not really. It's just because I'm myself. I don't have to fit into your box. I really wish that when people are all around, telling kids it's ok to come out, they can say it's ok to be yourself too. You don't have to pretend to be straight, but you don't have to pretend to be gayer than you are either. "Straight-acting" gay people are not threatening gayness. They are just themselves. It's YOU who is judging them. So stop. It's hard enough being able to tell another cute so called straight acting girl to date anyway. Our lives are hard! LOL.

Live Tweeting Coraline the Play this Thursday the 9th

2010-12-07T11:30:00.000-08:00

I like plays, but i have a short attention span. Sitting there through a whole play while not talking, moving around, or doing anything can, and has, put me to sleep. Sleeping during a movie or tv show is kinda funny. Sleeping during a live performance where the people acting in the play can see you, is rude, So I don't go to plays too often. I've gone to a couple in the past couple years with my friend Antonio (Jekyll & Hyde the Musical, Dead Certain, and The Secretaries) , but overall, i tend not to go. Well, SF Playhouse asked me to be one of their Playhouse Pluggers. What is that? It is someone who gets to go to their play for free, but spend the entire play tweeting about it! Yes, something that is normally considered rude - to be on your cell phone during a play or movie- is now being encouraged. Well, even required! It's awesome. As soon as I heard of such a thing, I thought: this is for me! I don't fall asleep at plays because i'm bored or don't like it (well, sometimes, but not only because of that), so this will let me be engaged, doing something else at the same time, so i can stay alert and watch the entire 90 minute play. AND all of YOU can join me! I am slightly concerned that i will get some frowns of disapproval from the surrounding audience members. oh well. The whole concept of live tweeting is interesting. That you, the reader, can't wait even a bit of time for me to get home and write out a whole blog and publish it. You will be there at the instant i make my impressions. Twitter is like that anyway, i suppose. You care enough, think i'm interesting enough, to read my impressions of what's going on throughout the entire day. I love twitter, because i get news, ideas, articles from there. i get to see what other people's lives are like, and kind of get to know them better. But anyway, back to the play... have you read the book by Neil Gaiman? I have not. Have you seen the movie? Yes, in 3d at the theatre, then again at home, because my roommate owns it. This is Coraline's west coast premiere. It runs from November 16th to January 15th at the SF Playhouse, which I have never been to yet. It's 90 minutes, with no intermission. You can even watch a trailer on the theatre's website. Most of you know the story:

Poor bored Coraline. She's left to rattle 'round her perpetually distracted, workaholic parents' house all by her lonesome. But late one night, her dreams of a better reality come true as she opens a big, carved, wooden door at the far end of the drawing room and passes into a perfect replica of her own world. When she's greeted there by a vastly loving Other Mother and a kindly Other Father, she's thrilled! But as the rats start to creep from the floorboards, and the way home becomes increasingly unclear, Coraline begins to suspect that, perhaps, all is not as perfect as it seems...

It's creepy. I'm looking forward to seeing Other Mother played by someone else besides ditzy Susan from Desperate Housewives. I'm also looking forward to being asked to live tweet the other plays this season! So, join me! Here are the details, and all you have to do is follow me on twitter!
Coraline Live Tweet
Thursday December 9th
Play Begins at 8pm Pacific Time and lasts for 90 minutes with no intermission
Follow me at @merrijane and SF Playhouse at @SFPlayhouse on twitter.com!
I hope to see some of you on twitter! And I'll report back here at the blog to say how it went!

Thanksgiving 2010

2010-12-06T11:30:00.000-08:00

Basting the turkey, in the apron my mother made me

I'm sorry it took me FOREVER to get my thanksgiving blog up!! Being sick and being busy made this late, so let's just get right to it. Thanksgiving is an awesome holiday because the main thing is food, and i love food. Last year we did thanksgiving from a box, but this year, i was in an even better mood and decided to go all gung ho and make lots of yummy things from new recipes. So that's what i did. I pored over different recipes to pick the ones that looked best. Tuesday night, we went to safeway and bought a billion things. Wednesday, i was let out of work early at 2, and spent a great day doing errands, and since it was my birthday, my best friend took me for a yummy dinner, which i wrote about over at Tastie Tidbits. But when we got back home, it was cooking time. Wednesday night i made not one but two different types of homemade cranberry sauce. I made jellied cranberry sauce with fuji apple, which was very easy to make, and is good for people that like canned sauce, because it comes out very 'jellied.' I learned that the canned stuff is full of HFCS and other nasty things, so from now on, this will be my go-to recipe. I also made Earl Grey Cranberry Sauce with Dates. This was also very good. The flavor is complex, tart, and tangy, and is more of a fruit compote. The first recipe won out in the taste test for turkey dinner, but the latter one would be good on something sweet. However, everyone enjoyed both. I had my best friend/roomie Tristan chopping things for me, and while chopping up the butternut squash, he managed to slice his finger open, resulting in lots of blood which fortunately stayed out of the food. This prompted us to vow to only get pre-cut squash from now on. That thing is WAY too hard to cut!
Thursday morning, i dragged myself out of bed and we started cooking the stuffing. Tristan wasn't at his cutting fastest with a seriously injured finger, but he still managed to do a lot. We made Turkey with apple stuffing. The stuffing wasn't like anything either of us had tried before, and was made of not only bread pieces, but apples and raisins. I'm used to a more strictly bready stuffing. It was great and made a lot! We would eat it again. The turkey took longer than we meant it to, and then we realized we didn't have a pan big enough for our 17 lb free range turkey. I ran across the street to our corner store, where the nice old guys were out of bigger turkey pans, BUT they taught me how to make walls on our existing pan with aluminum foil, which worked wonders. I love those guys! Despite our best efforts, it was 11 before the turkey went in. Over the course of the day, i did a LOT of dishes, ate very little, watched some shows on my laptop since we were waiting for our tv to arrive still, and cooked. I made New and Improved Green Bean Casserole, since i usually make the normal canned/french fried onion kind, which you just KNOW is full of HFCS and etc chemicals. The new version was healthy but tasty, although the crunchiness of the onion chips wasn't as great as the usual crunchiness. Maybe because we used organic chips? We made kale mashed potatoes, adding a bit of nutrient into them with the kale. They came out good, but we decided we will still keep looking for a better mashed potato recipe for next time. I definitely liked the whole greens mixed in thing though. I was going to make a cranberry roasted butternut squash recipe, because when i was picking out the recipes days before, i asked Tristan's opinion, ' do you think we should do mashed squash?' 'No, definitely not, that's boring!' so, game to try new things, i found a roast squash one. Thanksgiving day, when i got ready to make the recipe, i heard, 'what are you doing? that looks weird i probably won't eat it. i thought we were having mashed squash, thats the kind i like.' Yes, i'm not only ADD-like myself, but live with someone else who is ADD-ish. so yay we made up a mashed squash recipe right there and it worked.
Our friend Chris and his adorable chihuahua puppy Cassanova finally arrived in the early evening, bearing a yummy corn souffle, and a frosted apple pie, as well as rolls. Our turkey recipe said the turkey was done, and i whipped up the gravy recipe it had on it (bland) as well as my famous cranberry dessert to bake in the oven while we ate. I was so hungry!! And we ate! YUM! SO GOOD! The food was great, the company was great, and i had the best time playing with Cassanova, who is such a good and cute dog! I've always wanted a chihuahua. im so sad our apartment won't let us have dogs. Later that night, our friend Jason arrived from MA. He was going to stay a week with us for his birthday vacation (he and I share a birthday). He liked his leftovers. We had a great thanksgiving, and we didn't get to finish the last of the leftovers until the following thursday night, because of all the eating out we did with Jay's visit. The only one sad thing is, since we didn't have a meat thermometer, the turkey didn't get cooked all the way through, which we didn't discover until monday night, so it was too late to recook it. Next year, we're going to get one before we cook!
An awesome time with friends, food, cooking...check out the rest of the photos here, and don't forget to click on the links above to try the recipes!
Photos by Merredith Lloyd

My Thanksgiving Plate

Turkey with Apple Stuffing

Kale and Olive Oil Mashed Potatoes

Earl Grey Cranberry Sauce with Dates

Butternut Squash

Chris's Corn Souffle

Jellied Cranberry Sauce with Fuji Apple

The Apple Stuffing

New and Improved Green Bean Casserole

Merredith's Famous Cranberry Dessert

Chris's Apple Pie

Tristan with the Butternut Squash

Chris and his Thanksgiving Plate

Cassanova licks the fork

Cassanova's begging, but not getting anything..

Snapshot! Random Photos

2010-11-30T12:54:00.000-08:00

Here are a bunch more photos that I don't think managed to fit into any blogs, or were too late for them...

Me and my best friend Tristan Jaxx at the Lockdown Gayvn Afterparty Folsom street weekend 9/24/10 (photo by Joe Pessa)

Me with my friend Hoi and good friend Antonio on his birthday at Release at Club 8 10/9/10 (Photo by Marques Daniels)

the same nite, with Antonio, his parents, and friend (photo by Marques Daniels)

Brunch at Barracuda in Castro with Tristan, Matt, Nick, who was visiting for the weekend, and me 11/7/10 (photo courtesy of Nick Zuko)

Me and Nick at Lookout Bar in Castro 11/7/10

Me, at Alcatraz, looking concentrated listening to the tour recording 11/5/10 (photo by Nick Zuko)

Me and Matt on the tour at Alcatraz 11/5/10 (photo by Nick Zuko)

me and nick outside, at Alcatraz, with the San Francisco skyline behind us (photo courtesy of Nick Zuko)

See more photos, always, at http://www.flickr.com/photos/shockinglytasty/

Cough, cough

2010-11-23T12:57:00.000-08:00

Like a billion other people around this time of the year, I have a cold. My cold ran me down, then I got better. Until late last week, when the weather turned cold, and it came back. As a cough. A coughing cold is one of the worst things you can have. Why? Well one reason is, the very instant you lie down to sleep at night, to get your much needed rest so you can heal, you begin coughing and coughing. This horrible coughing usually lasts all night long, only stopping in time for me to fall asleep, RIGHT before my alarm goes off to go to work. But the other reason it's bad to have a cough, is that everyone is petrified of it, and you. When I'm in public, I really try to do the vampire cough (thanks, Pam from the Office, who taught me the name of this way of coughing), but it doesn't matter. I am a walking disease. I'm not the only one coughing at work, but I know people are probably cringing. A coworker gave me a ginger drink, but she is coughing too, so I think she was actually being nice. When I'm on the train or bus and cough, people give me looks, or cower away. When I used to live at my old place, people on the bus would cover their mouths and noses, or even put on a mask. I can be not coughing at all, but as soon as I get on there and feel the pressure to be germ-free, I can't help it. I start up coughing. I try and think about something else, or concentrate on controlling my breathing, but it's useless. The coughs spill out of my mouth and lungs. I don't even think that coughs are contageous after a day or two, but people are SO afraid of germs & etc that anyone sick turns into a monster. I can't wait to get better, so that when I'm a social pariah, at least it's for a better reason! Lol.

TSA and Personal Freedom - Where is the Balance?

2010-11-22T15:15:00.001-08:00

Everyone's been talking about TSA. Now, everyone will be scanned with a see-through xray vision machine, much like people used to be able to send away for on the backs of comic books and such. Only this one works (but it's less portable). I think that I was already scanned in this this past spring…when I was at SFO, using Virgin Airlines to San Diego. It was some sort of full body scan that was more than the metal detector. I didn’t quite realize that they could see an image of my naked body up on the screen. I'm not super sensitive to being naked in front of people, but they don't know that. A lot of people are. Just because I don’t MIND being naked, doesn’t mean I don’t want to be able to make that choice. Of course, you can opt out of this at any time. But you might miss your flight. Should you choose to opt out, you have to be subject to a super invasive pat down. This isn't the regular pat down that they used to have, I guess, but an extra special intimate one. I've read that they can put their hands down your pants, or grope your breasts. You have to take off medical aparatuses such as leg braces, or prosthetic breasts. Scared children are held down while they are searched. I actually remember on a recent episode of Dexter, where Lumen, a character who was held captive and raped, went to the airport and had to be searched. You could tell she was reliving her abuse during this experience. I really don't want anyone's hands, man or woman, down my pants and on my breasts, or any part of my body, for any non-fun or non-medical purposes.

But what is the alternative? Just like we can no longer meet or say bye to people at the gate, just like we can no longer bring liquids on board, this is another step towards keeping us all safe. Is that really my choice though? Have my body and space and rights invaded on, or get blown up by a terrorist? This world is becoming very sad and scary. How much more will be taken away from us in order to keep us safe? Where is the balance? When is the good that's being done overriden by the bad? I don't want to end up in some mindless, super controlled world, where I end up being no more than a coddled pet.