Monday, May 09, 2011
Let's all Learn about Introverts (Like me!) - A Must Read!
If I could change one thing about myself, it would be for me to enjoy being social. Just about everyone I know or hear about would rather spend their weekends and nights being around other people. This could be at bars, restaurants, parties, sporting events, get togethers, who knows what. People like being around other people. I'm an anomaly. Although I WANT to want to be around others all the time, it tires me out. It drains me. When I told my friend that other people literally suck the energy out of me, he thought I was being weird and overdramatic. I AM weird and overdramatic, but in this case, it's true. After being around other people, I need time by myself to recharge. I need to retreat inward (not that I ever achieve outwardness) to recuperate. This energy thing does sometimes work in my favor…if I'm by myself ALL the time, for a days on end, I run out of my own energy and need to be around others to get some of theirs. If I'm in a place where everyone is super happy and energetic, I can feed off of that, or someone I have a connection to. But in general, 90% of the time, I feel drained. I typed this into google, and discovered that I'm NOT the only one. This happens to others, just not people I know, or if it happens to them, they don't talk about it. I mean, it sounds crazy, why WOULD they talk about it? People accuse me of having no feelings, not being a real human being, but the truth is I feel everything, all the time, and have to put a block up so I don't break down. Adding to this my tiny attention span & my lack of knowledge of how to behave like everyone else, and it's a wonder I can function in society at all! Yes, I'm introverted. Now, I know that people often say that term, but most don't know what it really involves. I didn't. I kind of thought of it as a pejorative term, but found that it's something that is intrinsic to a person's makeup. I found a very informative article…"the child who immediately, when he comes home from school, escapes to the privacy of his room for time alone; the speaker who presents beautifully in front of 1200 people but who leaves a few minutes into the social hour because he says he can't deal with large groups of people; the quiet student who always has a book in hand, commonly plays alone, and whose favorite place is the reading corner; the adult who is vocal and social in a small group of people but who becomes silent and withdrawn if she is made to work in a larger one;..the individual who when attending a conference or convention can only take so much socializing and hustle and has to retreat to the privacy of her hotel room to 're-center' herself. " The article explains that introverts are not necessarily shy. I'm not really shy either. I have no problem with public speaking or things like that. I can take charge when needed. It also says how extroverts always kind of pity introverts, and try to make them have fun the way THEY think is fun. It's true, most people I know are extroverts, and they'll say, why don't you go do this or that? Why?? Because I LIKE sitting and reading my book. I LIKE sitting at home and writing, or looking up random things online, or watching tv, or relaxing. I need it. In order to be able to go to work and be in the world each day, I need to recharge by myself at night. And look at this sentence!! - "Introverts get their energy from themselves and are drained by people; extraverts get their energy from other people and are drained by being alone." Not everything in this article fits me, but no one is a cookie cutter. Introverts hate being the center of attention but really I don't mind it, I love attention in fact. And I don't ALWAYS hate being around others. One of my favorite things to do is to go to a very large, busy club with loud, great music, and go out dancing. I am a horrible dancer, but I love doing it. At these times, the energy of those around me if the music is good can make me almost giddy, though I don't probably show it to others' eyes. I love trying new things, exploring, learning. I don't want to ALWAYS be shut up and away from people. I want to be your friend, I just don't know how. I enjoy being around extroverts. I'm very in control of myself, too in control in fact, and probably the boldness of extroverts draws me, as they are controlling themselves and the world around them. But these extroverts see me as a sad, pitied person, because what I like to do seems horrible to them. I'm writing this so that extroverts, and introverts who don't know that they are normal too, can see that it's not odd, not strange, not sad, not weird. It's just how some people are. Now I just have to keep reminding MYSELF that and not feeling bad at my differences. Are you an introvert? If yes, do you ever feel bad about what makes you happy, and pressure to be more social? What are some ways you force yourself out of your shell, and do you think that you SHOULD even force yourself out? Are you an extrovert? Do you find yourself trying to make introverts conform to your ways?